Lived Experience Forum

[Heart]

@WTFIGO, please don't give up. If anything go and get some help for yourself, speak to someone who can support you. Go to your GP and get a referral for some therapy of some sort.

The best thing you can do at the moment is to look after yourself so you don't crash and burn aswell. 

[WTFIGO]

I'm going to try moving out, I will still be there to look after our son when she is at work but other than that I'm going. Hopefully this will 1.Give her some space and 2. Maybe when she sees that without me she will have to feed all the animals, get our boy ready for school etc and start being everything she apparently wants she may see what her choice means.
I don't want her to take me back to do jobs but right now her life hasn't changed a bit other than shutting me out, everything is still being done for her. Crossing my fingers

I only have love and hope left

[Heart]

@WTFIGO, I feel very sorry for you that this is what has to happen for thing to maybe work out for you.

That would have had to be a very hard decision for you and my heart goes out to you. I hope you are getting some support from friends and family of some sort. Have you been to yur GP to get some help as well.? 

I still don't think it is her choice to be like this, although this is what you are seeing/feeling. She may not realise that she may have a MI and does not know how or where to turn for help. Unfortunitly, until she does she will most likely not accept suggestions/help from you. 

Please take care of yourself 

[pip]

Hi @WTFIGO. It sounds like you are trying the 'tough love' way. Hopefully your plan won't back-fire. Is there someone you can trust to keep an eye on things while you are away? Also think about letting her Dr know you have left as he/she needs to be aware. It must have been an incredibly hard choice for you and, as Heart has said my sympathy also goes to you and your family. Having mental health issues is really hard for everyone and when the person who has the issues refuses to accept it, it makes it harder. Take care of yourself and your son.

[WTFIGO]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support, I have been a fool, my efforts over the past 4 years and in particular the past 3 weeks have all but been thrown in my face. Another failure on my list . It's really funny that she has been treated the way she has through her life and the one person who worshipped her and would endure anything for her, she treats the same as she had been treated. I feel worthless and if no use, I have tried pouring 150% commitment into everything in my life and I always get shit on so f@&$ it all

[Lunar]

Hello @WTFIGO,

That sounds really hard if you are feeling like you have poured everything into supporting your partner and she has not got better. I hope you know just how supportive you have been but there is only so much one person can do to help someone with a mental illness.

It's important to also get as much support as possible from others so you don't burn yourself out which it sounds like you have? Do you agree?

Now is a time to really focus on looking after yourself and then you are more able to cope with everything that is going on, just like your partner needs support, so do you.

I have sent you a checking in email so please call those numbers if you would like to talk things through okay 🙂

Here for you,

Lunar

[WTFIGO]

I'm stuck, I can't afford to move out can't find a job, I'm being treated like a door mat slowly sinking

[Appleblossom]

I thought your plan was a good one .. dont give up .. even though it feels hopeless .. your son and dogs need you.

[WTFIGO]

I'll be there for him but I have been stuck at home making sure he is looked after and loved while she is at work and today is her first day off and I wanted to go out for a drive and have some time to myself and she wants me to be back for school pick up so she can socialise with her new friends and she won't come home til whenever while I'm stuck at home again watching the clock wondering what she is doing and wondering what I've done so wrong to the bottom of the food chain to someone I have supported and loved unconditionally all this time, I feel like I'm just being trampled on and for fear of somehow making things worse if that's possible I let her do it

[WTFIGO]

And it's not just dogs it's 2 dogs 6 cats and 2 parrots which she wanted and I agreed to the lot thinking this was my family forever what a joke I am