Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

---

@creative_writer wrote:

A part of me wants to withdraw from all of my professional and emotional supports from close friends. I just had a difficult conversation yesterday with my mum. I told her I got recommended more supports.

...

And she said that more people will have authority over me if more people get involved.

---

@creative_writer  I think the recommended strategy is to have more supports, not less. That way if one is unavailable, hopefully another will be there when we need it. Not every support will be able to be there for us all the time.

So a mixture of friends and professional supports is a good idea. And it strikes me that this forum is both 🙂 (although not a crisis support obviously).

And regarding what you wrote below:

"I think I understand what’s going on for me right now, my trust issues have become more activated. Like do people really care about me? What’s the chance of me getting hurt in the process? I’ve been in a harmful therapy setting before. Like is it right for me to feel safe around people?"

I don't see a way out of our deep problems and complex MIs (mental illnesses) without trusting others. Like friends and therapists. Yes it's a risk, and not every therapist is going to work out well for us if we don't click with them. But speaking from experience, I've found that trusting others to help me has worked, and I've got some healing from my childhood trauma and abuse, constant SI (suicidal ideation) and help for my 6 MIs through therapy. More trust grows and you feel safer as you trust in little stages. 

Don't know if that's helpful...

[creative_writer]

@NatureLover I know realistically having more supports it’s better. By her saying that more people have authority over me makes me feel as though more people have the opportunity to control and manipulate me. I don’t think being controlled or manipulated. I think that statement didn’t sit with me well. But it’s true that trust is built slowly and it’s hard to heal if you don’t trust anyone.

[NatureLover]

---

@creative_writer wrote:
By her saying that more people have authority over me makes me feel as though more people have the opportunity to control and manipulate me. I don’t think being controlled or manipulated. I think that statement didn’t sit with me well. 

---

I'm glad that statement didn't sit well with you, as it strikes me it's your mum's own fears she's putting on you. 

I too have a fear of people controlling and manipulating me, but I do trust my psychologist thoroughly. 

How are you feeling today? @creative_writer 

[creative_writer]

@NatureLover I think many people who have experienced some level of trauma have issues with trust. Sometimes parents have their own experiences too. It was hard growing up with an anxious mum, but sometimes kids grow up with anxieties too as a result. I do still think she was a good mum, but has struggled a lot with her anxieties and some relationships. We live in a crazy world, some so called friends can secretly be an enemy, some people are overly critical. I guess it’s about weeding out the toxic people and only allowing people who support and inspire you to be a better person.

Honestly today been a bit more hectic and been a bit stuck in my head 😢.

[creative_writer]

Anyone else sometimes feel so speechless like you’re in so much emotional pain but you can’t describe it, because no words can describe it?

[Paperdaisy]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear things are this difficult @creative_writer I saw on another thread you were logging off but I'll ask the team to check in with you tomorrow 💝

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy I am still on. I know this screen won’t help my eyes. But i still don’t even know what I am doing on here.

[Paperdaisy]

I know what you mean, the screen can be bad for the eyes @creative_writer are you going to be OK tonight? 

[creative_writer]

I think I’ll be okay @Paperdaisy

[NatureLover]

---

@creative_writer wrote:
I guess it’s about weeding out the toxic people and only allowing people who support and inspire you to be a better person.

---

Yes, this can be hard @creative_writer .

---

@creative_writer wrote:
Honestly today been a bit more hectic and been a bit stuck in my head 😢.

---

I'm sorry to hear...also that you were in so much emotional pain that you couldn't speak 😞

Sending wishes and 💙