Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

Thank you @Appleblossom for validating how I am feeling. I spent most of the day sleeping as I am desperately trying to avoid a complete crash to the system. I guess my body has had enough. Each time I eat, drink, take a deep breath or speak, I am in pain. I am having skull, jaw and neck x-rays ASAP to check for compressed nerves.

I am to return to studies as of next week, so unsure how I will go. I don't want to fall behind in the course, so I'll try my best to attend classes despite being in physical and emotional agony.

[Appleblossom]

I did all reading for one diploma flat on my back holding the pages up away from my face.

 @Queenie 

It was just the way it had to be for me. Studying also took me out of my body and feeling the pain. Not recommended if there are other options.

You have to work out whats best for you, but helps if you can air things a bit.

I hope you get good support from health practitioners, but also your missus. 

You dont have to be soupergal..  

[Queenie]

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out but I can't because the children are here. What triggered this? A phone call from my Father. I feel like he doesn't give a crap about me and only calls from way up on his pedestal to rub my nose in it. There is so much hurt there from him and my stepmother/aunt. All the water under the bridge washed the poor bridge away. It brings back memories of all the abuse, I can't go into details but it was pretty shocking and the man I called Daddy (back then) should have protected me from Her, but he didn't. Instead he called me a liar and now I am just a trouble maker. I wish he wouldn't call but now he calls on withheld numbers and here's me thinking it could be the NDIA calling about my planning meeting so I answer all calls.

Now I am having a really bad night. My Mrs cannot comfort me as she is having a horror movie marathon with the children and is spending the night downstairs and is having a night off as my carer. 

😞

[Queenie]

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out but I can't because the children are here. What triggered this? A phone call from my Father. I feel like he doesn't give a crap about me and only calls from way up on his pedestal to rub my nose in it. There is so much hurt there from him and my stepmother/aunt. All the water under the bridge washed the poor bridge away. It brings back memories of all the abuse, I can't go into details but it was pretty shocking and the man I called Daddy (back then) should have protected me from Her, but he didn't. Instead he called me a liar and now I am just a trouble maker. I wish he wouldn't call but now he calls on withheld numbers and here's me thinking it could be the NDIA calling about my planning meeting so I answer.

Now I am having a really bad night. My Mrs cannot comfort me as she is having a horror movie marathon with the children and is spending the night downstairs and is having a night off as my carer. 

😞

[Acacia]

Hi @Queenie,

Sorry you're having a really bad night. It sounds like it's been a particularly tough couple of weeks for you – having the phone call from your father and all the associated memories is probably the last thing you need right now.

Do you have any strategies that you tend to use when your Mrs isn't around? Or other supports you can reach out to? 

Please keep posting and let us know how you're travelling. 

[Queenie]

I think I will go to bed early tonight @Acacia and try and read something or just sleep. I was watching a little tv but it was kind of boring. Catch you tomorrow.

[Jazza]

Hi @Queenie. Pain is a horrible thing to deal with. Its disabling and others have trouble trying to understand it because they can't see it and have never experienced it. Nerve pain is different altogether and doesn't respond to opiates. They usually prescribe other meds but can take weeks to kick in and give some relief. I always find it amusing when someone I know suddenly has some back pain and its the worst thing in the world for him but he doesn't seem to understand its my everyday. Have you tried a heat pack or a hot cloth. Some people like hot, some cold and some don't like either. Hope you are feeling better. The kids are probably just scared because they don't understand. It's harder because nerve pain is impossible to understand, it simply doesn't make sense. Usually gets worse when you are quietly trying to sleep or wakes you up when you are desperately tired. I find walking can help if you're up to it. Take care

[Queenie]

It is interesting you mention the heat pack @Jazza, I've been surviving by constantly applying heat to the source of the pain. It is the only thing that helps really. I have a buckwheat pack you can either throw into the microwave or the freezer. It is my constant companion at the moment.

[Appleblossom]

@Queenie 

Pain and horror movies really dont go together.  Glad you just did your own thing.

Hope today is better and no calls from people who do not care.

[Ant7]

@Queenie hi how are you doing I haven’t checked on this thread for a few days (I have had some stuff going on) I hope your pain is starting to ease ❤️❤️❤️