Lived Experience Forum

[Powderfinger]

It has been just over a month now since an ex friend left my life with no explanation and not even a goodbye. Just de friended me and that was it. I would visit my friend often and she meant so much to me. It takes a lot to open my heart to choosing someone as a friend. It has a lot of meaning to me. 

When she did this, it really broke my heart badly. I was so upset and to add it was at a time in my life when I needed her. I know if at any time she needed me, I wouldhave been there for her. To make matters worse, she stayed friends with my ex whole she had only met once. Shows how much she truly valued the friendship. I didn't chase after her, I didn't ask why, I just let her go. I had too much to try cope with already and I was so suicidal at that time. 

So, I just blocked her completely from my life. 

Last night out of the blue, I got a message that snuck in as it was one place I didn't think of blocking. It bought all that pain and hurt up for me. Then this morning I woke up and I was feeling livid and suicidal again. 

How dare she do what she did and then just caduy drop me a message as if nothing had happened. I felt hurt all over again. I decided to not respond to it and not give her my time of day. She made her choice with me. As much as I loved and cared for my ex friend, she is not worthy nor deserving of me. I have nothing to say to her. She tossed out friendship away so easily. She never tried to get in touch with me and she could have. She knows where I live. She could have dropped in to explain or even wrote a letter. She didn't. A random message is not enough to repair what she did. If she feels any loss of this friendship or of me, that's for her to deal with. 

I'm no longer allowing people back in when they've chosen to walk away. It happens once and never again. 

[cloudcore]

Hi @Powderfinger ,

Betrayal and abandonment are incredibly painful, so it is completely understandable why the return of this ex friend has impacted you so deeply. You mentioned you are feeling suicidal today, I just want to check if you are feeling safe at the moment?

from cloudcore

[Owen45]

Thanks for sharing this painful story, I can identify.  A life-time of rejection and being stood-up by women. Not good for mental health. No wonder I have not had a relationship for years and years. 

[Powderfinger]

@cloudcore 

I'm OK.

[periwinklepixie]

I remember when this happened with your ex friend @Powderfinger 

I really hear the hurt and frustration in your words. I think it is a really powerful sign of your growth that you were able to not respond to the message. I'm sure you're sitting with some pretty intense feelings right now. 

Something I do when sitting with uncomfortable feelings is to really really slowly clench and unclench my fists. Is there something you find helpful you could try? Another one I do is singing angry show tunes. 😛 

Thinking of you 
- periwinklepixie 

[Carlachris]

If they ignore you.....then never bother them again. I have always found this to be true. People who Ghost others are not worth knowing. They only come back into your life if they want something. It's always a hard lesson to learn. Good on you for not going there. Well done. 

[Powderfinger]

It is something I really just want to forget about @periwinklepixie 

I did think about contacting her (not replying to the comment) BUT I felt it wasn't right for me. It is too little, too late for me. I am not wanting to re establish a friendship. If you can do that, what type of friend were you? Not one that I need. I got hurt very badly and I need to move on. There was nothing to say to the comment really. It was also said on a page so I was not going to involve people in my private life. 

I have now taken care of blocking her, so I am moving on. It will take a few days to settle the hurt down that she bought up though. 

I guess for me, I am just putting it out of my mind. There is no point thinking about it. What is done is done. 

[Powderfinger]

Hi @Carlachris 

Thank you. Yes, I think I have grown to respect myself more. I don't have any friends which is hard. I'm not desperate though and I have standards. Although I do feel angry at the audacity of her even doing that when she really was the one who broke my heart. It dud break my heart that day. I still feel the heartbreak I felt then. Nobody is ever truly sorry. So basically goodbye to you.