' The door creeks and groans as it is forced open, heavy footsteps sound across the empty space. A man approaches the tired old bar running his finger upon the timbers and picking up a layer of dust.
It's been more than a little while since He last entered this sacred ground, and with delight and pride his eyes dance around the room. Grateful is he to those who have taken care of this place humbled is he to hear of the good times shared within these old timbers. '
I honestly could not tell you how long it has been since I was last here and I honestly cannot express adequately my feelings upon seeing the beer garden is still standing.
so much has happened in my life since last I lent upon the bar too much to sumise in a single post. Ups downs and a lot of in between once long ago now I was lost and without direction and it dawned on me my time is often spent engaging and communication supporting and assisting people, people with mental illness who struggle with mental well-being. People like me, and in that realisation I decided upon something I would become one of those people who had helped me the most on my way to recovery so few special workers who seem to just get it. With that in mind I chased it enrolled in study completed my qualifications gained employment in that industry I have now 3 years experience as a mental health support worker, and yes I still struggle some days naturally. I don't think I will ever be rid of this but I know that despite it I keep going after all the first person I support and care for and look after is myself, because if I do not then I cannot look after my son, my beautiful partner, my family, my friends, and the individuals I support at work.
I have learned so much as everyday is a new challenge new idea new observation new realisation. The road to wellness is never ending it's not so much a destination as is it the pathway itself and one I've come to realise I must keep walking, reassured now in the knowledge that I do not walk it alone.
my journey started back in the many long longs ago on a forum very similar to this one, it was there I learnt I am not alone in this suffering in this situation in these feelings, I was there I learned to care or more realistically to accept that I cared all along despite my protests to the contrary.
wiser now braver now stronger now I am for having reached out then and sought support. Fortunate I was to have found guidance too, realistic I was to understand that not everyone learns or thinks or feels the same way. For some it is second nature to have deep conversations and portray and display emotions like giant placard signs that say hey I feel this way today, not all of us can do that, not all are ready to or comfortable enough. for some of us what we can do is say I've had a mother of a day today I do t want to elaborate much but damnit am I glad that this shitshow is over for now.
and that is fine this can get us by and see us through until we are ready to get to the sources and deal with those. It is a lovely feeling of community to say today was a tough one and here others say 'damn right' 'yep' 'I hear that' 'you're not wrong there mate' and that is the spirit in which this place was created a place to go when you don't know where you want to be or where you should be a place to go to deal with things the lighter less serious way.
hell the bar tender is a cardboard cutout of David Hasselhoff from knight rider and the and the jukebox no matter what you select only plays Rick Astley there a light snitch near the toilets that makes the disco ball descend from the ceiling and we have no idea what the stain near the bar is. But by far the most important thing is that this is a place for all of us it can be whatever we want and whatever we need.
today I just needed it to be a beer garden
"Beer Me" - the Cap'n
