Lived Experience Forum

[Paperdaisy]

You are so wonderful at advocating your needs @Judi9877 and it sounds like you have a solid plan in place. Thanks for checking in with us 💝

[TuxedoCat]

Hello wonderful @Judi9877 

That is such wonderful news for you ❤️ And thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us. Like @Appleblossom said, we love the whole you, always ❤️ 

What is clear to me is that you know yourself and your needs SO well. You recognised that something wasn't right with how you were feeling and you knew the action you wanted to take. It gives me the courage to book an appointment I've been avoiding. So thank you ❤️ 

How are you going to spend the next few days before you go to PARCS?

TuxedoCat

P.S. WOW that much on 5cm needles in just a few days. You must be very very fast. Can't wait to see a photo when you're ready to share it

[Rhye]

@Judi9877 so glad to hear two things: your admission is all set and you're headed towards some relief AND your knitting is proving to be a soothing companion through it all. 

We'll be here @Judi9877 keeping your seat warm if you need a mini-break, and gently cheering you on from the sidelines knowing that you've got this 💜

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of hugs @Judi9877 

Love reading your thread xxxx

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Judi9877 

Just wanted to say hi and see how you are going?  It's great to hear that you have a plan to go to PARCS - your strength and commitment to working on your mental health is a testament to you.  Hopefully they will get you on track with your meds and you will start sleeping better.  I know in myself if I don't get a good sleep overtime it really impacts my mood and my thinking.

I'm glad you are enjoying your knitting and what a perfect time of year to be knitting a blanket.  It would be great if you posted a picture of your blanket when you are finished 🙂

Take care of yourself and please let us know how you are going when you can.

Best wishes, 

FloatingFeather 

[Sirius]

Oh @Judi9877 I'm so sorry you're not feeling like you're in a good place right now. It sounds like you've been sitting with some really heavy feelings for a while now, and I think it's a natural and sensible step to reach out for help via admission at PARCS. I want to acknowledge the strength you have within you for recognising that you're not in the best place and knowing what is best for YOU right now. One of the things I practised in my recovery when experiencing similar things was to try and gently remind myself that thoughts are not facts, they are just thoughts and try to let the pass by. I'm really pleased to hear that you've been able to keep yourself occupied when you're feeling this way by doing something you love.

Has knitting been a helpful distraction? I was wondering if you crochet as well? I'm a complete knitting novice, but this artist crochets all these amazing objects - I wonder if you could try your exceptional knitting skills at something like this for a new project? If you're interested in the artist, you can read more about them here.

Please know @Judi9877 that we are all right here with you and will still be here when you feel ready to come back from hibernating. 🙂💗

Sirius✨

[Judi9877]

Good evening @Sirius @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 @Rhye @TuxedoCat @Appleblossom @Oaktree @MDT @TAB @Daisydreamer @Paperdaisy @tyme 

and everyone joining me in the jungle tonight. Thank you once again for all your kind thoughts and words. It makes me feel warm, fuzzy and safe knowing I have forumite friends in my side walking with me as I travel down this path of not being 100% healthy and well mentally so thank you for your support! 

Tonight in the jungle, things are relatively calm and peaceful on the mental front with me finding an old freehand abstract cross stitching design I started on a few months ago and am now back working on whilst listening to the Carlton vs Essendon AFL match on TV and me feeling calm and relaxed whilst working on it. I’d forgotten how much I loved cross stitching and am so glad it’s found my way back to me and that I have now purchased some extra embroidery cottons to work on the design this afternoon after doing a PCR test as part of my PARCS requirements for admission on Tuesday. I feel happy and content right now which is a nice and positive feeling and feels good to be honest. I line how in this freehand design, I’m just stitching shapes according to how I feel and with no rhyme or reason to the shapes or design- only knowing that it’s fun being random and creative and using the different coloured cottons to dictate where I stitch next on the 14 count Aida fabric. It’s kind of like meditation for me as I feel calm and am in the moment with my hands and feeling of the fabric and needle in my hands and just letting my brain stitch according to how I feel if that’s even possible or makes any sense? I’ll try and post a photo of the design when I’m finished the section I’m currently stitching. Like I said, it’s an abstract and random design according to how I feel and what shapes I feel like creating at the time. I’ve unofficially named this design ‘Psychological State of Mind’ and is one of many designs I’ve started yet have never actually completed since I’ve misplaced the designs in the past.

Okay. It’s a cold night here in Melbourne so that means it’s time to get a hot cup of tea going to help warm me up. 

Take care and I’ll talk later!

Judi9877☺️💐

[TAB]

..enjoy your tea @Judi9877  hope it all goes okay as I said

[Sirius]

@Judi9877 your post made me smile. 😊

I'm so pleased to hear your admission is sorted now and that you've found a new ambitious free-flowing design to work on. I've always found working with my hands making things very meditative practice, it's definitely soothing and calming. I would almost go as far as saying you're practising mindfulness, based on your description. I cant wait to see the fruits of your labour!  Keep warm, enjoy your cuppa and the rest of your evening 😊

Sirius✨

[Judi9877]

Hi there @Sirius @TAB @FloatingFeather @Rhye @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Eve7 @MDT @Daisydreamer @Oaktree and everyone joining here in the jungle this cold Sunday Melbourne afternoon. Thanks for reading my entries and for the positive and helpful comments- very much appreciated!

As for me, there have been several developments regarding my mental health and state of mind which have been as follows:

- I got my PCR test back yesterday lunchtime to a negative result which means I’m all good Covid-19 style for my PARCS admission on Tuesday for a week or 2 depending on how long the staff have me in there for as I’m going in there partly for a meds review.

- I completed the blue section of my cross stitch on Friday night at the end of the AFL match  (the photo is upside down for some reason) and am planning on doing more of it this afternoon once I’ve had a hot cup of tea to warm up.

- I’m up to my 3rd colour on my blanket which I started on Tuesday night in the middle of a psychosis episode and am still working on it to good progress

- I tracked down some more cross stitching fabric at Spotlight and got my sister to pick it up for me today which I’ll pick up on Tuesday on the way to PARCS so I’ll have a new piece of fabric to start with some cottons from Big W that I purchased on Friday night to take with me to PARCS to work on.

- I purchased some notebooks to take with me in case I feel like writing things down at PARCS along with some pens as well

- I purchased a pair of new slippers as well - again for PARCS- so my feet will be nice and warm instead of living in shoes all the time.

- I’m feeling slightly nervous about going to PARCS still despite calling them on Friday afternoon to check in with how the program will run and what’s expected of me. There have been some slight changes but hopefully I’ll be okay.

- I’m yet to email my psychologist to tell him what’s going on with me as I’m struggling to find the right words to say to him and tell him what’s going on. I’ll get around to it eventually.

- I’ve been trying to do some breathing exercises to help calm down to limited success but this is something I want to work on at PARCS and try and get myself into a routine again as I’m planning on going back to do a diploma course at a uni next month which is free with me doing 2 units per semester as I don’t plan on continuing in for the degree which I’m eligible to do. 
- My Working with Children’s check came back clear which means it’ll add to my qualifications for any volunteer work I plan to do. There’s a chance of a kindergarten assistant role that’s come up so I might look at that if everything goes okay with a zoom interview in a few weeks time. I’m just going to wait and see what happens in that area of my life.

Okay. Time for me to go and resume cross stitching again. Besides feeling slightly nervous and anxious, I’m feeling okay.

Talk later!

Judi9877