Hi @TuxedoCat , cheers for the friendly greeting - good to see you, too. Yeah, huge load to carry, and not the best qualified for carrying it! My little family is totally worth it, though.
Hm, tips on deciding to take meds or not... for something like ADHD, it's purely a quality of life thing. It ain't fatal if we don't take meds (unless we're on the reckless end of the spectrum, I guess). It can mess with things like work and relationships and managing a household, though, and all those things can feed into comorbidities like depression, anxiety and soforth. There are absolutely strategies for making those things easier without meds - they're not foolproof, but they help. There's good advice about that sort of thing in places like ADDitude Magazine, Totally ADD, or How to ADHD on YouTube, to name a few. A big thing to note about meds is that they aren't a magic fix-all, what they do is make it easier to use the strategies. If you're unsure about meds, research the heck out of strategies first and try them out. If they're not enough on their own to make life bearable, meds may be worth considering. I'll throw in a strategy of my own that I haven't seen on any of the websites about ADHD, but that has been huge for me - minimalism. The less unnecessary stuff you own, the less unimportant commitments you have, the less bad relationships you have, the better you can manage with executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation. You'll probably spend less and need to work less, too. Win/win.
As for advocating for yourself with doctors, that's so important, and I do have a few thoughts. For one thing, they almost always come at you from a meds first approach. It's worth reading up about what meds there are and what to expect from them. Dr Google isn't exactly a definitive resource, but can give you an idea of what you want to ask. Also if you're having difficulties with a medication you're already on and want to stop it or try a different one, write down side-effects when you notice them (trust me, you'll forget if you don't write it down when you think of it) to paint a picture of why it's not the right option for you. By all means take the list to the doctor, I always end up walking in head-empty, being prepared is a must.
You're apt to have more trouble if you want help that isn't meds. Here you really want to do your research, because they don't love that route, there are limits to what they can offer, and in my experience if you don't already know what there is other than meds they probably won't tell you. The primary thing they can offer here is a Mental Health Care Plan so you can see a mental health specialist about either strategies for managing ADHD or to help you deal with comorbidities. Other options don't even involve a doctor, for instance hiring an ADHD coach to help with strategies (if you can afford it - I don't know of any way of getting a subsidy or anything for their services). I hear there are support groups through various organisations, haven't looked into them too closely. Then there's Googling the heck out of how to manage ADHD, and/or talking to people in social spaces like this with their own life experience to draw from.
Sorry, I know that's a lot of reading. It's a huge subject. Hope it helps.
AFK.
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