Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 I am so sorry. I feel the same.
It's really hard to trust anyone after being betrayed for so long i also feel it is hard to recognise others that may be genuine because I am not used to being treated like that. Sounds like experience has made you that way in regards to dependence.
I don't rely on anyone and expect nothing these days. It is hard to break out of isolation. These days I am very stubborn when it comes to allowing someone to help me just with the smallest thing or in re to my daughter by giving me a hand I often find myself questioning their motive or intentions and it just ends up in a disaster I am not used to someone just wanting to help me.

I wish i could meet you in person and tell you I honestly feel all those feelings and hold your hand and maybe we could scream and cry and let it out but do it together

I am really sorry you have been hurt and I am really sorry the world let you down like it has with me. I am literally teary right now because for so long I felt like it was just me that felt like this. For so long I thought I should just be ok by now

You are going to get through and you are going to see better days again and when that day comes to both of us we will know what true freedom is.

I am so sorry you have been hurt badly. I really am xx

[Zoe7]

I say this often but feel it is worth repeating for you too @Former-Member - pain is pain! No matter what you or I or others have been through we all feel the results. No-one's pain is any less or more than anyone else's - it is just different 

I am definitely the same as you - even today when I tried to ask for some help with something from my family it became more than it needed to be and left me feeling so upset that I wish I had never asked! When your family can't just help without asking 100 questions or trying to give a 'lecture' how can one possibly ask anyone else for help!!!!

The great thing about this forum @Former-Member is there are many more people who can relate and empathise with us - and that is also the sad thing about this forum - that so many people feel the same pain, the same hurt as we do. 

I can honestly say though that I am so grateful for the people I have met on here because they have walked through some really tough times with me (and still are) and I know that their intentions are real, true and honest - and that is not something that I can relate to in the real world. I hope you can feel the same way about being here as I do @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 Thank you

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom It makes sense

I sing to songs I can relate too. I get the music bit. Some times though certain songs can trigger me. Glad it works for you in positive ways

[Appleblossom]

That is what I mean that it has to be personal to you.  Dont forget your favourite songs ... remind yourself to put on music .... when lil Mr is at kinder /// ... to sing ... or croon ... or blast the house as you clean.

Singing brought up tears for me in a big way ... but in the end I simply outsung the tears.  

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 I get that about the real world. Feeling a bit lost tonight, i worked yesterday and have to leave at six the smorning to head to work. Just want to be in there now tbh. It's close to 2am here.

@Appleblossom I used to dance (Latin and ballroom mainly) wish I could again

[Zoe7]

I hope work is a great distraction for you today @Former-Member - I'll check in with you again tonight to see how you are doing 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7 I hope you had a good day. I had a heavily booked day. We normally have three therapists on saturdays. It was just myself back to back. Good day though all positive. Now have to clean up and cook dinner it looks like it may storm my way
Thinking of you all the time today hope you are alright

[Appleblossom]

Love Latin music @Former-Member 

Hope work was reasonable today, though customers can be like toddlers at times.

[Sans911]

Hi there @Former-Member. I don't know if you realise, but I have been following bits of your story here and there, and I am really pleased to see you posting in your own thread. That is really empowering. You have been through so much in your life; unfortunately like many others here. You are incrediblely fortunate you have some amazing support from some wonderful forum members - @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @outlander @Shaz51. All people who have supported me since my time here in the forums. I just wanted to pop in and say hi. And to remind you I believe you are doing the best you can under the circumstances.