Lived Experience Forum

[Zeek0426]

So I have had a borderline personality disorder diagnosis since I was in year seven (now in year 12) and I know it hasn't really affected me much as I have gone through high school. I have noticed with the help of a therapist here and there when it becomes more noticeable that I am "acting up". Recently it has gotten very bad since I broke up with my ex in January ( I know that we are now in June). They had been my best friend for three years before that and we had dated for two months before they dumped me. I have not been able to let go of them and they have blocked me on everything even though I have not tried to ever make contact with them. I am doing what my therapist is saying and is writing letters to them whenever I feel at my worst and then burning them but this isn't helping. I need that contact and connection to go forward. I can't see me living my life without them. I should also mention that I have been dating someone else for four months now and we are still together but there are little things that are making me feel like they are going to leave me, with leaving me on read and just not wanting to keep in contact at least once every day just to make sure that they are coping. I feel like I am cheating on her because I am so caught up in my feelings about my ex and all I want from them is to have their friendship back. We were so close those three years and knew everything about each other. I really don't know what to do. I am so torn and am feeling worn out having this taking up my thoughts 24 hours a day. I love my current partner with everything and am wanting this relationship to go further but I can't continue life without my friend. 

[Oaktree]

Hi @Zeek0426 

Trying to get in touch with your ex will only make thing's worse. They will only reject you which will hurt you further. You need to try and let them go emotionally which is easier said than done. Try to move on  forward with your current partner and stop looking back. Hoping for better days ahead for you - hugs

Meggle

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey there @Zeek0426 - Welcome to the Forums!

I am sorry to see things are really difficult right now, I hope that you are able to get some good support here. 

Of course, if you are feeling unsafe or at risk, please do not hesitate to reach out to a crisis service such as Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) for more immediate support.

We are happy to have you here and hope you feel very welcome

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

[wellwellwellnez]

Well, for the sake of being philosphical, maybe the real conversation needs to be had with your own attachment style. I'm all about attachment style these days. The question of "loving yourself" becomes a lot easier when you you have a frame of reference for who you are from a "love me/I love you" perspective.