Lived Experience Forum

[STORMGRL101]

Hi 
After being in hospital for 3 weeks and then been continuing with ECT as an outpatient. ECT has definitely helped to lift my depression and has helped me become more confident in myself HOWEVER I am so scared that once it finishes my mood is going to crash again and if this happens I dont feel like I will have the strength to get through it and keep myself alive. Sooo the depression has lifted which i never thought it would, but now im feeling so ANXIOUS SCARED and like a "crazy" impulsive borderline. my support worker is taking me to my psyc hologist appointment next week and im scared about what will happen. I want to try and keep myself together until after the new year at least but I don't know if I can. I have another ect session tomorrow morning so i will try to talk to my dr then about my worries.

[Zoe7]

Firstly @STORMGRL101 it is so nice to see you  Talking to your dr about your worries sounds like a great idea and a really positive step. Hopefully they will be able to discuss your concerns and what effect ending ECT may have on you. It is fantastic that it has helped lift your depression so far

Let us know how that goes and what you may be looking towards. Whatever it is - we are here for you 

[STORMGRL101]

oh thankyou @Zoe7 how are you and toby?

my plan for tonight is to have dinner, cuddle the furbabies and have an early night. 

[Zoe7]

We are both exhausted now - took little Toby to the beach today and it is the first time in nearly 6 months I actually walked along the beach. I haven't been able to do anything but sit and watch him play a few times in the last month or so - and that is when we have been taken there by my sister @STORMGRL101

The nights are still just as bad for me but there are some brighter moments in the days - still don't have meds right 

I am going to read a few more of my (shhhh) not-birthday messages, maybe chat here a bit and hope that sleep comes tonight.

I will post some pictures of Toby at the beach today on 'Am Not Coping' later tonight - s check them out tomorrow.

How are your furbabies?

[STORMGRL101]

oh lovely @Zoe7 i love taking the dog to the beach and also being taken for drives along the beach, very relaxing. 

brighter moments in the days is good. i hope sleep comes for you tonight.

my furbabies are good. although the poor bunny is feeling the heat today. im watching my pup eat his dinner. i will lookout for your photos.i will post one of my boy.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Heeey @STORMGRL101 ..... you have been on my mind .... ❣️

So glad to see you back, and with positive news .🎉

It’s probably a good idea to be asking the dr about those anxious feelings.  They might be a normal response to the ECT and the lifting of depression ...... and you won’t know until you ask.  If it’s not a usual response, it’s just as important that they know about it and understand that you need support through this next stage too .....

Well done you ....

How is that bunny of yours ?

[STORMGRL101]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope
yes i will ask tomorrow morning, it kinda feels too good to be true.. 
my family have been helping me to keep  busy.

my bunny is good but feeling a bit hot and it will be even hotter here tomorrow. i will give him frozen bottles to keep cool. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Lucky bunny .... ❣️

Yes, it can feel too good to be true when solutions and positive outcomes do arrive @STORMGRL101, especially when you have reached a point where hope that it will happen has dropped really low.  I am sure it would feel a bit surreal.

I look forward to seeing how you went.

Hi @Zoe7 ....👋 .... it’s good to see @STORMGRL101 back.

[Zoe7]

It's great to see @STORMGRL101 back @Faith-and-Hope 

[STORMGRL101]

I'm scared, anxious and just BLAAAH!
I didnt get to see the dr I usually see yesterday, will have to wait until next wed now. I think I am having one more ECT session that thats it. It's done something helpful in my brain but now dealing with being an anxious borderline is stressing me out. Gotta keep busy ... Can December be over already,, i am over this year