Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

The Happiest Man

Once there was a man who lived in the woods, and he was happy.
He knew he was happy, although he had never experienced any other emotions, he had fresh air, tasty food and a cosy cottage.
He was, he decided, the happiest man alive!

There was also a man who lived on a hill, and he was happy.
He knew he was happy, although he had never experienced any other emotions, he had fresh air, fresh food and a nice cottage.
Below he could see the man who lived in the woods, and he knew that his own air was fresher, his food tastier and his cottage cosier.
He was, he decided, the happiest man alive!

There was a third man who lived on a mountain, and he was happy.
He knew he was happy, although he had never experienced any other emotions, he had fresh air, fresh food and a nice cottage.
Below he could see the man who lived on the hill, and below him the man in the woods , and he knew that his own air was fresher, his food tastier and his cottage cosier than either of those.
He was, he decided, the happiest man alive!

However, all three men were in fact permanently sad because they were lonely.
But having no point of reference, they had decided that happy was a good thing to be, and so they were.

Questions :

Which of the three men was happiest?

Is happiness measurable, ie in such a manner that one persons happiness can be measured against anothers?

Is happiness relative to the person experiencing it?

Main question :
If our level of happiness changes relative to gained experience of depths and types of other emotions, do we have any conscious control at setting our own levels?

For example :
If it were possible, and I chose today, that I was happy, am I resetting myself relative to my happiness scale, or am I resetting the scale relative to myself?
Is there a difference?

More realistically: if i 'want' to be happy and 'choose' to be happy with what I have etc, is that truly possible in the sense that, eg. If I don't believe in God, I can say I choose to believe in God, but that won't make me actually believe in one, just pretend to.?
So just because I choose to be happy or have a happy outlook, do I get one if I'm actually sad?
Not in my experience but people tell me they do, so.. curious as to how that works....

Bonus question:
Do you think happiness is an emotion?
( Not after dictionary definitions, only personal outlooks)

[Former-Member]

Side note :

Once a reporter interviews the world's oldest woman and asked her what the secret of such a long life could possibly be.

The old woman replied 'A pēnis'.

The reporter was stunned. He thought he must have misheard. So he asked her again.

She repeated clearly. 'A pēnis'

The reporter didn't know what to say...

She nodded as she continued...' to be a'py'.

( Ok, works a lot better told aloud, with an added accent to disguise the approaching punchline)

[utopia]

@Former-Member.
Good questions. I think that if we focus on things that we enjoy, then we are happy. If we focus on things we don't like, then we are unhappy. This is very simplistic, I know.
But I've found that the more I do things I enjoy, and notice little things like birds singing, insects buzzing over flowers, the smell of freshly cut grass or a beautiful piece of music - the more I focus on these things, the more content I am.
I can still feel lonely, but I'm not focused on that all the time. Therefore, the good times outweigh the bad, & I am happy.

[Former-Member]

True.
In a vlog by hank green he said once that when you become what most people would consider 'successful' you realise it's actually not that at all.
That you never achieve "success" you just have "successes".

I think that's true of happiness or probably almost everything. It's doubtful humans are even capable of maintaining one state for any length of time long enough to be considered a 'permanent' or 'life long' state.

So we don't have "happiness", we have "happinesses",
And as you say, if you get enough of these happinesses that they outweigh the unhappy, then that's as close as we get.

I guess what I was really getting at was more the concept that do you think it's possible to fool or even (to a degree), brainwash, yourself into thinking you are happy if you aren't?
When you break down the psychology, habits and learning and conditioning, even stuff like CBT are really just a form of brainwashing.
I know external influences / people can do it to you, I just wondered if you can do it to yourself.

-/

Doctor Who: "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."

[utopia]

@Former-Member
If you feel depressed anxious sad scared etc and you tell yourself that you are 'happy' - then surely the word happy then starts meaning depressed anxious sad scared.
Happy is then just a word.

[Former-Member]

Exactly!

Resetting the scale relative to the observer.!

'Happiness is not a fish you can catch'

-Our Lady Peace