Lived Experience Forum

[Clawde]

hey @Andrea1 sole you are, beautiful another value added person on this amazing web site, 🙂

[Andrea1]

Good morning, hope everyone is doing good. I am feeling a bit down. Today I am seeing psychologist so I hope the therapy will help me heal faster and get better. He’s gone distant again, just as I thought he would. And it hurts so much, I can’t help it. I can tell that it’s over.

[Clawde]

Don’t worry, when one door closes another opens, so they say, but keep your strength it will open open many doors, you just got to trust, your inner sole, when you can’t, here is the thing, just front up, as hard as it is, just front up, say nothing you don’t need to, just front up, like A store front, build it they will come, keep your presence, don’t let anything happen to you, you will alone make the difference, his loss, not yours remember this, you are awesome in everything, you are the best awesome amazing person, we have met, thank you again for being part of our lives we Thankyou seriously 😍👍

[Andrea1]

@Clawde  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I am going to read it over and over until I finally realise that. It’s that I know that you are right, but stupid heart won’t listen. Why does it have to hurt so much. I saw my therapist today and she is so nice, very supportive but I don’t feel any better yet. I am dying on the inside. How can he be so cold after everything we had together. How little I mean to him. I didn’t hear from him at all. And I am not going to text him,no more. I thought that this type of love and heartbreak exists only in movies and now it is my reality. I am so tired of it. 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Andrea1❤️

It sounds like a very overwhelming set of circumstances you're experiencing. 

When I find I'm going through a lot, I find I need a lot more support than usual. In case it would be helpful, and in case you're not already aware, here are some possible additional supports: 

• 1800 RESPECT https://www.1800respect.org.au/ 
• SANE Support Centre https://www.sane.org/counselling-support/sane-support-services 
• Blue Knot https://blueknot.org.au/survivors/blue-knot-helpline-redress-support-service/ 
• Griefline https://griefline.org.au/get-help/free-telephone-support/ 
• Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 
• Listening Ear https://listeningear.org.au/ 

Take care 🌻

[Thao]

Hi, I understand how you feel. There is and there was periods that my boyfriend would be quite away and I was wondering why so many time.

I could feel a wall between us even tho we are living together.

To be quick I found out that he was watching porn for a while and that how I realised why all these feelings and intuitions that I had. He is looking at girls and this breaks my heart so much. I'm a not ok with porn and checking in out other people while we're together and not single.

[tyme]

Dear @Thao ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums! I'm sorry to hear this is happening. 

Seeing that you are not okay with him checking out other people and watching porn, have you openly spoken to him about it? That is, let him know that it affects you?

I guess, in any relationship, openness and a willingness to speak about things that are not working, is very important.

Take care, 

tyme

Hint: When you respond to a post, you can type "@" in front of the person's username so that they receive a notification. Like this @tyme 

[Thao]

Thanks to reply.

Yes I have, he did so much efforts, but I still have scars to heal from and there's still things that he does that hurts me.

[tyme]

Hey @Thao - being hurt does take time to heal.

You have every right to feel hurt and upset. At the same time, if you partner is ready to make changes and has listened to why you are upset, then it is a good thing.

All the best @Thao 

[FightOrFlight]

I am in the same situation and I have finally found my answer! Here is a link to Dr Romani talking about a Narcissistic Personality Disorder partner which then gives you PTSD! I think many of us struggling need to watch this: 

https://youtu.be/IOnZYVTNVNc