Lived Experience Forum

[Lana79]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and hope that I found somewhere where I can get some support for the first time.

I'm 38F and recently have had my first appointment with a Psychiatrist after months of terrible, impulsive and extreme behaviour that nearly tore my family apart. Without going into detail as it's too painful and draining, it was time for me to ask my GP for a referral. I realise now it's come 20 years too late and I kind of got lost in the system and fobbed off by GP's.

I have a history of depression and anxiety. 20 years and counting. My first appointment went well and was recommended to participate in a 3 month DBT course. On receiving the information about DBT, it stated that it was for people with BPD or BPD traits. I have often thought that this is what I have but obviously I don't think it's a good idea to self diagnose.

Today I asked my Psych if she thought I had it and she told me I definitely had traits. I almost feel as though that perhaps there is a bit of a reluctance to diagnose or that the answer was a bit vague. 

I have no idea what to expect and does diagnosis take some time?? I would like to know if I'm BPD or not I suppose, as I think having a proper diagnosis would allow me to heal and move on with my life.

Thank you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lana79

I know how you feel with wanting a diagnosis. Now I have one I find myself sometimes questioning it. It's ok though I don't worry so much about it most of the time. I have BPD traits. On the days I'm honest with myself I can see them. When I started DBT the first time I was warned that not everything was me but they thought it important to do. I found it confronting and found I related to more than I thought I would. I'm about to do DBT again as I think I didn't take it all in last time and I missed soo many sessions. Distress tolerance and emotion regulation are two things I really need help with so this I'm doing DBT to help with them

I guess from someone who has a diagnosis I thought it was important early on to have one. Now I just want to work on the things I need to change and don't think so much about my diagnosis. For me it's helped and hindered to have one as you often get put in a box for it.

i hope this helps. Good luck with it and welcome to the forum. 💜🤗

[Azboxfta]

I have BPD but I don't think it's important to have a diagnosis
As it is really just a combination of a lot of mental issues/traits, techniques used to help with it can really be used on a lot different mental disorders, whether or not you officially have it doesn't mean you can't practice the methods that help people with it

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Lana79,

Welcome to the forum - I hope you find it as helpful as I have. DBT was originally developed to treat BPD and is still regarded as the treatment of choice for BPD by many people. However, DBT is now also used to treat a whole array of issues. If you go to any of the online bookstores and do a search of DBT or dialectical behaviour therapy, you will find that a bazillion book titles come up like DBT for bipolar disorder, DBT for bulimia etc etc.

On the wider issue of the value of a diagnosis, people vary as to whether they see value in it or not. I am a 39 year old woman and I was diagnosed at 19. At that time I experienced the diagnosis as hugely validating. It gave me a sense that I wasn't just "bad" and that there were other people in the world who struggled with super gigantic emotions, just like me. Then, as time went on, I experienced the stigma of BPD within the mental health system. I went through a period of feeling defective and hating myself because everywhere I turned, the message I heard was that people with BPD aren't really ill, they are just manipulative and attention seeking. Sadly, those horrible attitudes still persist in the mental health system and thus many health professionals are reluctant to give people the label. There are also some people here in Forum Land who found out years later that they were given the label of BPD but never told. I find that appalling.

Although we are always discouraged from self-diagnosing, the truth is that mental health professionals don't have any secret special magical powers that make them more capable of diagnosis than any other person. There is no blood test or anything to diagnose BPD. Diagnosis is done based on the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders volume 5 (DSM V), which is a book that details the diagnostic criteria of each recognised mental disorder. Anyone with an average adult reading level can read and understand it.

I guess what I'm saying is don't get too hung up on what one or another "professional" says. I know that a diagnosis can be super important in some contexts. For example, I sued a church where I was abused and the whole case centered around the argument that I had developed BPD as a result of the abuse. However, on the other hand, whether you tick enough boxes to meet the diagnostic criteria of BPD or whether you don't tick quite enough boxes and thus get described as having BPD traits is neither here nor there in terms of whether DBT may be of benefit to you.

That all got very long-winded didn't it! Again, welcome to the forums and I look forward to seeing you around here in Forum Land.