Lived Experience Forum

[PeppiPatty]

Sorry I needed to hear this

[Neb]

Why can't one die of loneliness ? I have never been good with people. When I was growing up we moved interstate as dad was with the army. I was shy at school, so was on my own a lot.....not bullied much, just alone. Hell, I wish I was dead, which is stupid, because I will be there sooner or later, and I bet I have a revelation of what life was about......too late. Not making much sense, but just have not been well with a cold, cough, stress incontinence and generally feeling bloody, but I never feel WELL. I hate me! There....I have said it, and it is juvenile and I am just a fat old cow.

[PeppiPatty]

Your not alone @Neb I so value your input here.
Treasure

[Former-Member]

I worry that I will become homeless. I worry that my partner doesn't really love me, but only sees me as a responsibility to keep alive. I worry that my "mother in law" doesn't care & is trying to torture me. I worry that my partner is torturing me. I worry that I will never not feel suicidal. I worry that my father definately does not care at all & is happy with his new family overseas (I'm glad that he is happy, but why can't he still care about me?) I worry that I can't communicate with my mum & I worry that I can't make living with my partner on his mum's farm work & that I will have to live with my mum again. I worry that I will wake up in the morning & have to face another day not knowing what the point of my life is. I worry I will never have a career, despite getting an OP 3 & doing part of a psychology degree & getting mostly distinctions. I worry that I will not be able to handle the stress of university again. That is just a start...

[Ace85]

I'm worried that my anxiety is getting worse and that soon I will be at a point where I won't be able to face the outside world. I'm worried because my anxiety seems to influence my seizures and the thought of this causes me more anxiety. I'm worried that this is all I am - a 30 year old, unemployed nothing that's still living with parents. But I'm worried that if I do try again, that it'll  just result in another failure and I don't know how to overcome that. Just typing this has me feeling shaken to the point that I felt like I was about to have a seizure, so I'll be logging off now. 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Ace85

I'm thinking about you....
What did you do today ?

[PeppiPatty]

@Former-Member

We are here for you.

Your dealing with so much you poor lady.
Do you see a GP near the farm ? Would it be difficult to see a GP ?

[Ace85]

@PeppiPatty Thanks for thinking of me. You asked me what I had done yesterday - the answer would be I spent the day distracting myself with computer games and tv shows, then cooked dinner in the afternoon. The strange thing is that my anxiety seems to worsen of an evening, to the point that there are days that I skip dinner cos I can't face a meal with my parents and I'm much more able to control the symptoms when I'm in my room, listening to music or watching tv. Other than distraction techniques and deep breathing, I don't know how to get help. I just feel so alone right now.  

[PeppiPatty]

friend @Ace85

your not alone. Ive asked for your input in another thread.....Its on the lived experience forum called Dialogue with forum forumites.

I remember my oldest son was struggling with this. If you do not have a friend to sit with you for an hour or so every afternoon, 

Would your Mum or Dad?

brother or sister?

What your going through is  okay. Can you think that  when your feeling anxious at night time?

Im not good with listing all the numbers to call like lifeline ......

Im thinking about you 

tonight, Im going offline because gotta take care of myself with the husband....

[Former-Member]

Hey @Ace85
I'm here listening 😉 and caring I find feeling alone the hardest thing sometimes. I just often want so much to b with other people or someone who cares but then when I am I'm so scared and anxious I can't speak anyway... Doh