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Attahua70
Casual Contributor

Partner has schizoeffective disorder

hi , I've been with my partner for 11 years and in that time he has had many relapses however he just went three years without one until now ....I'm tired , I sit with him every day and listen to waffle , I take him snacks and tobacco , but what I am struggling with more and more as these relapses occur are the vile things that come out of his mouth , sick , disgusting things that I find hard to forget when he is home and well again. I know he is unwell but where do these thoughts come from ? I'm 50 now and tbh I don't want to continue doing this , after every relapse he seems to be more quick tempered and a bully . Trouble is I feel terrible guilt wanting to get on with my life and gradually distance myself . We now live 6 hours apart and that works well except he rings me 4 to 5 times a night after I've finished work . He doesn't really have many close friends so when he is not working he is quite lonely where he lives hence the constant phone calls . However , I am unhappy and am really only staying around out of guilt. Also we have assets so a complete separation will be messy as every time I've tried he has been quite verbally nasty . Sorry just needed to offload I think ! 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Partner has schizoeffective disorder

Understand both the need to vent and wanting a break @Attahua70 & hearing the struggle too. It's important to take care of yourself, which it sounds like you've been taking steps to do, and that's great. Still not an easy situation though. Know we're here to listen if you need to let things out. 

I'm also going to tag @Former-Member in case they have any other insights or wisdom to share 😊

Re: Partner has schizoeffective disorder

@Attahua70  offloading here is what keeps me going.

 

Guilt isn't a good reason to stay, but I know how hard leaving would be... I don't have answers but I do offer hugs and a listening ear.

 

Caring for them is exhausting. Thinking about the future is exhausting, waiting for the next tirade is exhausting but the feeling of marking time in one's own life is worse. 

 

Take care of yourself xoxo

Re: Partner has schizoeffective disorder

I totally hear that and thank you ! I do feel like I’m counting my own years atm but I am all he has ! I struggle with the vile things that come out of his mouth when he is unwell and I am supposed to just forget all that when he is well ( according to his aunt ) but how can I?

Re: Partner has schizoeffective disorder

He has since been transferred to a very depressing high security locked ward