hi , I've been with my partner for 11 years and in that time he has had many relapses however he just went three years without one until now ....I'm tired , I sit with him every day and listen to waffle , I take him snacks and tobacco , but what I am struggling with more and more as these relapses occur are the vile things that come out of his mouth , sick , disgusting things that I find hard to forget when he is home and well again. I know he is unwell but where do these thoughts come from ? I'm 50 now and tbh I don't want to continue doing this , after every relapse he seems to be more quick tempered and a bully . Trouble is I feel terrible guilt wanting to get on with my life and gradually distance myself . We now live 6 hours apart and that works well except he rings me 4 to 5 times a night after I've finished work . He doesn't really have many close friends so when he is not working he is quite lonely where he lives hence the constant phone calls . However , I am unhappy and am really only staying around out of guilt. Also we have assets so a complete separation will be messy as every time I've tried he has been quite verbally nasty . Sorry just needed to offload I think !
