BPD shame

[Judi9877]

Hi there @averagecrow and welcome to the forums👋! I’m a Community Guide here who has lived experience of BPD along with schizophrenia and depression so I can resonate with your story of feeling shame towards your BPD diagnosis. To be honest, I’m still trying to understand my BPD diagnosis after having it for 15 years at least but do know that I’m not just my BPD. I know there are many other things that make me special and feel good about myself such as my knitting for charity for example and that’s why I try to remember when the BPD tries to ruin my day. I can understand the shame element of the diagnosis because I often feel that way myself but you have to remember that there are many good points about you as well. BPD may think you’re a bad person but you’re not and you have to remember this. I’ve spoken to my psychologist about this and he’s told me time and time again that BPD is just a diagnosis and nothing more. It’s part of you but not all of you. I believe you have many good points to offer people and I’ve seen one of those good points in you deciding to join the forums and ask for some advice which is a great thing so well done ⭐️! 

I’m going to tag @BPDSurvivor in here as I know they can provide you with some good advice on BPD like they have offered me in the past and continue to do so to myself and others. Like @tyme has also said, there’s a section on the forums called Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script where forum members with BPD often visit to discuss things related to BPD that you might be interested in looking at. 

I wish you all the best and hope to see you on the forums soon!

Take care!

Judi9877☺️💐

[tyme]

You've melted my heart @Judi9877 . What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing!

[Bow]

Hi @averagecrow 

welcome to the forums…. I know you’ve been here for a little while, I’m just a bit slow at the moment! 

I was diagnosed with BPD back in 2005-2006ish. I was a very different person back then and could certainly see the behaviours of a BPD sufferer in myself, although at the time I hated it the diagnosis and I guess the stigma that came along with it. I think I was often viewed as a trouble maker and seeking attention. I know that I was just really lost, confused and hurting though. I tried to understand it the best I could but it didn’t really make sense to me. 

i got some pretty intense therapy and a combination of a few things, managed to get my life back on track. Was therapy/ medication free for 10+ years. I believe I was recovered, but that diagnosis still followed me around. I noticed on any paper work from my gp, my medical history said ‘personality disorder’. I hated it. I left that gp and that history and I did mention it to my new one, but it’s not important anymore. 

I like what @tyme  has mentioned here, about focusing on one behaviour at a time that you perhaps would like to change. Don’t worry about the official diagnosis, it really is only important in getting the right kind of therapy. 

Hoping that @BPDSurvivor jumps in at some point as I have found them to be a wealth of knowledges with lives experienced of it. 

wishing you well @averagecrow 

[tyme]

I've heard that many people dislike the 'personality disorder' label, because it makes them feel there is something innately wrong with their personality! I totally get what you mean @Bow .

That's why I focus on functionality. That is, how well I function in society irrespective of the label. That may be how I maintain healthy relationships, boundary setting, emotional regulation - the LOT.

@averagecrow 

Thank you for sharing @Bow 

tyme

[Bow]

Yes @tyme …. Something very innately wrong with me. That certainly rings very true for me. 

[tyme]

From what I know, there has been a lot of petitioning to change the name of BPD to something else @Bow .

But as you rightly said, let's focus on what we CAN do about it, rather than our deficits.

Hugs, @Bow 

[Bow]

Was interested to know what other possible names they would use @tyme so did a quick google search and read an article. No real suggestions on a new name other than ‘mood dysregulation disorder’. But they talked about how BPD not only borders on mood disorders, but is often also trauma related and psychotic disorders due to the lack of realistic thinking. So at the end of the day it’s not the name that needs changing but the attitude towards it…. 

which is the hard part, because the whole stigma attached to mh issues in general. 

psychiatrist that I seen last year questioned my BPD and said that it’s probably more CPTSD… but they both have similar characteristics. 

[BPDSurvivor]

How are you going @Bow @averagecrow @Judi9877 ?

As challenging as BPD is, I hope it’ll take you on an incredible journey of self-discovery which you never thought possible. Books cannot teach you what BPD can. Not only about yourself, but about others and your place in society. It’ll teach you about self-worth, self-determination, self-will and much more.

Embrace the ‘monster’ and you’ll tame it.

BPDSurvivor