Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

what did you do once you were home to help settle him or did being home help get him out of the panic?----- ammm @Lauz, mr shaz just went to bed, I was still shaken by it but mr shaz took an extra meds and went to bed

[Lauz]

I can imagine you were shaken @Shaz51! Did you ever discuss this again or has tonight been the first time since that that you have explored it? 

This also prompts me to another area for discussion for us all.….looking at some self care. I know it’s the absolute buzz word of being a carer. Are you looking after yourself? What can you do to engage in self care? We discuss it a lot in all our topic Tuesdays right?

And I know often it can be the case that there isn’t always enough time to go away and just take a rose petal filled bath (although how nice would that be!!). So let’s look at the short term things we can do. When you are seeing a person in distress your own distress and/or adrenaline can spark up. This is natural and can also leap us into action as we discussed. But what happens when you have gotten your person through the attack and they are doing okay? In that say, 20 minutes post, what do you do? For you? For them? What helps both of you recover from that moment?

[Shaz51]

But what happens when you have gotten your person through the attack and they are doing okay? In that say, 20 minutes post, what do you do? For you? For them? What helps both of you recover from that moment?

 That is a good question @Lauz, well we usually stay home

the next example was at a customers house where we work for 6 hours , by lunch time I said we need to go home as mr shaz is not well , got home mr shaz went to bed after taking meds and me , sat down with a cuppa , could not put tv on all all , could not read , just sat there with my cuppa

[Shaz51]

But what happens when you have gotten your person through the attack and they are doing okay? In that say, 20 minutes post, what do you do? For you? For them? What helps both of you recover from that moment?

 That is a good question @Lauz, well we usually stay home

the next example was at a customers house where we work for 6 hours , by lunch time I said we need to go home as mr shaz is not well , got home mr shaz went to bed after taking meds and me , sat down with a cuppa , could not put tv on all all , could not read , just sat there with my cuppa

[Lauz]

Looks like we are getting to the winding down part of the night! Maybe before we finish up as well people could share a few things that they found interesting tonight? Or even if there are any other thoughts around panic attacks that you would like to share? We will be using some of your absolutely wonderful insights in a SANE blog piece to try to help others when their loved one faces a panic attack and to help discussions happen around this! 

[Determined]

Hi all,  a bit late ai know but just finished reading over the discussion.

[Lauz]

A cuppa is always a good call hey @Shaz51 - did it help to just be sitting in the moment? Were you managing your own thoughts perhaps? I know for others it can be the oppposite where they like to kind of break away from what happened and watch Tv but everyone is different. 

[Lauz]

Hello @Determined! Glad you caught up as well - we have 10 minutes left. What thoughts or insights have you had when reading back over what we have discussed so far? 

[JPJ]

THank you adge for pointing out the differences and the link between anxiety, long and short term, panic attacks and ptsd. I will need to look into it more I think. 

[Adge]

When I become overwhelmed, my frustration levels sharply rise.

I become frustrated & angry at myself (turned inward) for being overwhelmed, & for feeling unable to think or act clearly (becoming less functional).

This frustration (& anger at myself) is a major trigger.

If I keep pushing to take action, or to make a decision (under those circumstances) - I end up freezing or dissociating completely.

That's kind of what happened this morning, & a few times later today.

My T was reminding me to "Back off" or to ease off the pressure on myself - because it's largely my internal expections (or fears) that provoked the PA & overwhelm.

Yes it did help when I paused, & took some deep breaths (at least momentarily) - it took someone else (my T) being present, to remind me to do that.

In most cases, there is no-one present with me when it happens - I am less able to remind myself independently.

Adge

[oneagleswings]

My thoughts quickly - I think I do the same - a quick time out/breather/prayer & then back to whatever I may be doing at the time.