05-12-2018 11:46 PM
Hi this is my first time posting here.
I gave birth 12 days ago.
I have been suffering with servere anxiety after my newborn was hospitalized at 5 days old due to a viral infection.
I have been beating myself up about ever since, i am scared the same thing is gonna happen again or something bad will happen.
I am barely sleeping i keep checking on my baby, I barely eat, I can’t bring myself to leave the house nothing, its like im a zombie in my own body.
I have started meds
I dont know how to over come this feeling.
06-12-2018 05:48 AM
Hi @Megz90 and welcome to the forum. Congratulations on your very new one. Really sorry to hear that it has been a hard start for you both though. Having a sick one so early would be scary and I can see how it might trigger a lot of anxiety. How is bub going now?
Sometimes when I have a hard time with anxiety it can help to take 'time outs' to try and break the cycle of worry. Things like a long bath, a walk, a drive with some loud music, a quiet cuppa on my own somewhere etc. can all help, even just for a little while. Is there anyone around who might be able to offer some practical support so you can take a moment to do something nice for you?
Also wondering if you've heard of the organisation PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Austraia)? They have a helpline and a website here with lots of information including info on anxiety after birth and during early parenting. I have found them very understanding and helpful before.
It's great to see you seeking support early. Hope things start feeling better for you soon.
06-12-2018 12:32 PM
Yes i have heard of PANDA, i havent contacted them as of yet though.
I have tried to take breaks but nothing seems to work, i hate being away from my baby for to long, my anxiety is that bad my husband and sister had to force me to go have a bath the other night coz i was too scared to leave him.
I have my sister and husband helping me with everything from looking after the other 3 kids to helping me take care of myself.
I just dont know how to over come this fear of my baby getting sick again and ending up back in hospital.
06-12-2018 12:40 PM
These emotions are very normal after what you have recently experienced so please do know you're not alone. Not to sound too echoey but as with @CheerBear PANDA are an incredible organisation who have a lot of insight into what you're feeling right now. Their phone number is 1300 726 306 and I think this could be a really positive first step. Would you be up for chatting with them?
06-12-2018 01:22 PM
I am a bit shy to talk to people over the phone who i dont know about how i am feeling, its a whole new thing for me to do that, writing on here is so different.
I have never felt like this after having any of my kids, i have sufferes from PND but never post natal anxiety.
All i wanna do is cry all the time and pick at my skin and nails i am that anxious.
I just hope this feeling settles soon and hoping bubs stays healthy.
06-12-2018 04:18 PM
Welcome to the forums - you will find many helpful and kind people here who will understand how you are feeling
My daughter is middle-aged now and she was born a month early and had a tough battle so yes - I know how it feels to be anxious about a new born
The first months of her life were rough and I hardly slept - I thought the time would never pass but it did - and I had a two year old at the time and it can be really hard managing with other children at this time - I hear you
I am so glad your husband and sister are helping - I do suggest you talk to PANDA about this - I think anxiety is a hard emotional to manage and natural under these circumstances. I don't have much except my understanding to share but there is a difference between being anxious about your baby and anxious about being anxious - talking to someone with more knowledge of your situation will help you with this
And I wish you the best - this is a rough time in your life
06-12-2018 08:59 PM
06-12-2018 11:05 PM
07-12-2018 12:27 AM
I have three suggestions.
1. Meds take time to work, up to a month, and sometimes you may have to go through a couple of different ones till you get the right one, so healing is on it's way, hang on.
2. You can slowly loosen the grip of fear by deliberately and calmly distancing yourself from your baby. If all you can handle is to be two meters away for 1 minute, then you do that, and very slowly increase the distance and time. Maybe it will take a month but by that stage, hopefully you will be able to be in another room for five minutes and feel ok.
3. Women's community centres tend to have gps but also naturopaths. For things like this, I swear by them.
I suffered from constant panic attacks, general anxiety and depression for years, and I also raised my sister's children pretty much from birth. What you are experiencing is not rare or strange, your body and mind just need healing and rebalancing time. When I took up looking after my niece, despite not being her mother, I also didn't sleep more than four hours for the first two years, I was terrfied something might happen to her. By the time I took over looking after my nephew as a baby, the gypsies could have him and march through the room with tambourines and I would not have woken up. Thank goodness I didn't have to raise the third one, she would not have survived...lol. I promise you, this will pass and you will be able to enjoy being a mum without the fear.
07-12-2018 05:21 PM
Hi @Megz90. I am a counsellor at PANDA and have been reading your story and seeing the amazing support you have received from the forum so far. (And thank you to @Teej for connecting us into this conversation). Clearly you have been through a very difficult time with your new bub and I imagine it has been a total shock given you have never experienced this with any of your previous kids. Here on the PANDA Helpline we talk a lot about how debillitating anxiety can be, especially when it relates to the health of your new baby. The counsellors here would love to support you at this time if you feel that would be helpful. We understand it can be a difficult step to talk to a stranger but we are used to having these conversations and exploring ways to work with anxiety. You can let us know this is not easy for you and we will take things at a pace that feels comfortable for you. As already mentioned, you could fill in one of our mental health check lists on the website Panda checklists and request a call back, or phone directly on 1300 726 306 M- F 9.00am to 7.30pm, or you could email us on firstname.lastname@example.org providing your telephone number and requesting a call. We wish you all the best and are here for you if you need us.
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