Do others feel the same?

[Caring_wife]

Hi 

I'm lucky to have been introduced to this site and I'm wondering if others feel the same as me?

My husband served for 30+ years and was medically discharged in 2019. He suffers many issues including PTSD, depression, and many other things due to medical etc. He is trying his best and getting help, which is great.

I know he loves me very much even though he doesn't show it, but I feel as if he is pushing me away. We haven't been intimate for a few years due to meds and that is not an issue.

Communication when important is full of grunts or sighs. If I try to tell him how I feel he seems to get offensive. We talk about so much but not the important things.

I will never leave him as he means the world to me, I just feel alone. Do others feel the same in their relationships?

[0ddsidian]

Hey @Caring_wife 

Welcome! I'm glad that you found yourself here, and I hope you can find some comfort.

Stories like the one you have shared here are so unfortunately common. I am the daughter of a veteran, and I have witnessed similar experiences to yours within my own family, as well as the people I support.

Communication is such a foundational part of all relationships, so it's really anxiety provoking and isolating when that communication doesn't go well (or doesn't happen in some cases).

Tagging some members that might be able to give you some of their thoughts / insights too

@EchoGirl @CJ130 @Cally1 @Heyyou @LG @Azalea @CarryOnPorkChop 

Happy to chat as well ❤️

[Heyyou]

Hi @Caring_wife 

I am a  spouse of current serving member with over 28 years service and I hear you and see you. 
You are not alone. I too get very lonely. Please make sure you are looking after your own health and wellbeing first. I have found a great phycologist through Open Arms who gives me a way of opening up my feelings and ways to help myself and my relationship. I also connect with Facebook groups when I need advice or someone to talk to that understands the stuff we go through as Defence families. 
It’s not easy but do things for you. Don’t forget about yourself, as quite often as wife’s and mothers we put ourselves last and we need to not do that so much. 
I’m always here if you ever need someone to chat too. 
Please reach out 

[Caring_wife]

@Heyyou Hi.. 

Thanks so much. I too have a psychologist through Open Arms. 

We went out for lunch yesterday which was nice, didnt talk about much. He did tell me he cares deeply for me, which made the day even better.

when came home, he changed so quickly and wanted to argue. I stopped him and went to spare room. 

Why ruin such a lovely day 🙂?