Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Lovely  @Shaz51 

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member  I am thinking of doing DSP again, I think the biggest problem is the amount of work hours I do now at the moment per week

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member
just wanted to stop in to see how you are? and how your settling into your new home? how did the coffee catchup go with the new couple you met?

[Former-Member]

Things are remaining relatively steady @outlander. We have connected with a faith community as well as a service club (Mr Darcy has put his name down to help at a local sporting grand final).  

The couple that live around the corner are just a little older than us but appreciated the visit; due to health constraints they don't get out as much as they used to.

[outlander]

It sounds like your settling in well @Former-Member
its great you've connected with a faith family and a service club as well. Im sure the couple who lives around the corner very much appreciated the time out with you and Mr D. Hopefully youll get to spend some more time with them as well.

[Former-Member]

@Corny

This is my story ...Hubby on the whole is doing well,  still has medical sequale from his attempt which does add to his grief and shame. Current meds keeping him mentally stable and he is hoping to resume tapering off the last of his crisis meds which was put on hold while we moved.  Hoping the new pdoc (who we are yet to meet) will be a good fit, his new case worker is lovely.)

I do tend to contribute more to the decluttering, gardening and dog threads.

[Corny]

I have read about your husbands crisis @Former-Member and he has had an awful time and I am sure he was so shocked to become that unwell. It would have given him, and the whole family a terrible fright. Ending up in emergency myself and now having had 3 admissions, 2 this year, I know how draining it is for him, how much it hurts your self esteem and self worth, and how stressful it is for you as I had both parents with severe MI. 

Bipolar is a terrible disease. 1 & 2 are in my family, and it has crossed generations. 

I have met people in hospital who developed Bipolar at 14 years old and others in their 50s. Some are treatment resistant and not responding to medications, it must be so scary for them, to be 20 years old, nothing is working, and they are a chronic and severe case. I feel for them.

Your husband most definitely is not alone, there are many people that have come before him, but I understand how hard it is to accept you have a MI. It is devastating and so much is taken away from you. 

Other people/patients can sometimes not make it easy for cases like your husbands where it is very distinct and the crisis was severe, and there can be misunderstandings & judgment even from people with the same diagnosis. Listening to some of the patients stories of their friends/families reactions insinuating that they should be able to cope without medication because so and so at work or down the road or their wife or husband has Bipolar and 'is fine' if they exercise, meditate and eat well, and you should be fine too......there's still a long way to go with stigma and my psychiatrist believes that Bi2 is over & mis-diagnosed, especially in the last 10 years, and it means that people are missing out on treatment who really need it. 

That your husband is responding to the medications and is compliant is great. He will have days when he is fed up with managing his condition, and want to give up, but hopefully as time passes he will get some degree of acceptance that it is a valid medical condition and he deserves support.

I am so glad to read that he has a lovely case worker and I hope that the psychiatrist is warm and caring. Finding good health professionals is so hard when you are not well. 

It isn't easy moving, even within your own country. It takes a lot of adjustment and getting used to. But in time you will find a routine and a network of people to support you. Stay in touch with friends, quality friendships take years to develop and can be very comforting for our psyche's when life feels hopeless,

Corny

[Former-Member]

Weighed up benefit vs risk before moving @Corny and felt the time was right as previously it had not been. 

Yes, there will be ups and downs, there always will be but we will tackle things as they come. 

How are you faring?

[Corny]

I understand the position you were in @Former-Member , our family had the same conundrum after 35 years in regional NSW and near non existent psychiatric care. After my father's suicide, we had a deeply traumatised mother in psychosis and 2 more significant deaths to get through and 2 estates to try and finalise, and my sibs and I were spread in 3 cities. It was nightmarish. 

A lot of people bag Sydney out, and there are a lot of tedious and stressful things about being in Sydney, but the pros out weighed the cons, and the entire family converged here. 

It will take a bit of getting used to for you and your husband, we had a few panic attacks along the way, "oh my what have we done", but now 5 years later we have swung in disbelief in the other direction..."oh my how could we have ever believed that we could have remained there". Over-all, weighing the downfalls with the gains, Sydney is what is best for me and my health too.

I actually find people a lot friendlier in Sydney, there are a lot of people who are starting out, new to the city or have been forced back because of the woeful employment opportunities in regional Australia. I found regional Australia very clicky, people who grew up there had already formed their clicks and weren't particularly welcoming. I also like the diversity. 

I am faring not too bad @Former-Member . I'm sure you watched your husband go two steps forward, one step back and adjusting to new meds isn't easy, and people have physical health problems that can determine what you can and cannot try so it can be a slow process.

I have spoken to other patients with PTSD that also experienced a psychotic break and it has been very comforting to hear their struggles and relating to how scary that was, and how time stood still for a few years. One patient was in his bedroom for 6 years after his psychosis and PTSD and another patient in their 30s hadn't left the house for 10 years! So it is safe to say Darcy that at least there is one place I can come and have a break from the shame and embarrassment of having a MI and chat to people that totally get it. 

I hope that you can get outside today. One thing that sucks about Sydney is I will never be able to afford to have a garden ever again, maybe a small veranda but not a garden. I love them and they are so nurturing to your nervous system to get down with the soil. The blossoms will be out soon if they aren't already looking their gorgeous selves. 

Take Care, Corny xx

[Former-Member]

@Corny 

Perhaps a plot in a community garden might be an option ...