Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Elly]

Hi.
I am on this forum as I am looking for pathways to assist my schizophrenic brother.
He was diagnosed at 17. He is now 37. He has been in and out of closed wards for some years. And really this is the safest place for him. To be supervised.
The medication he takes makes him shakey and speak slowly. At the moment he seems to be more in psychosis than in reality.
They tried ECT treatments but that did not improve things either.
When my mum and dad visit he always wants to come home with them. This of course wouldn't work.
He has been assessed and he can't work as he couldn't concentrate,
It is a terrible life and it makes me feel very sad. When I was younger I could as his sister help him out.
I am 42 now and have my own family and children so it's hard. My mum gets very upset.
This forum is good for me as I don't like to talk about my brother with people who don't understand my journey.

[Vegemite]

Hi Elly

Welcome to the Forum!

It is clear from your post hom much you care for your brother and how much his mental illness has affected your family.  

This is a peer support forum and I am sure you will find many people here who relate to your experiences. If you search 'Family', 'Schizophrenia' in the search bar above you will find stories and experiences of members who have had similar experiences and understand what you are going through.

Don't forget the importance of self-care,

Best wishes, 

Vegemite  

[NikNik]

Hi @Elly

I'm really glad you found this Forum. I think the feelings you have about your brother - trying to balance your own family with him and his illness, is something many other members experience too, regardless of diagnosis.

It's really great to hear that your brother has access to a safe place.

One of the most insightful posts I've seen is from @zipper where she talks about finding it easier to think about her husbands mental illness as a physical illness - which gives her a different perspective on things. She also offers some practical advice, which may be useful for yourself or your mum. You can find her post here

@hopeandsupport , whose daughter has schizophrenia, wrote a powerful post about not doing it alone and the importance of self care, which you can read here . hopeandsupport - would you have any advice for Elly and her family?

@BillyF has a sister with schizophrenia - BillyF, would you have any advice for Elly. Elly, you can check out BillyF's initial post about his sister here

I'm sure these members have some insights for you Elly. In the meantime, I hope you've found other discussions elsewhere helpful.

Warm regards,

Nik

[hopeandsupport]

Hi Elly

Your post really speaks to me as my brother also has schizophrenia, he is now 55 and i am 62.  He has had a pretty terrible life too in and out of hospital.  although when the new antipsychotics were introduced his condition did improve.  he now lives on his own in a nice flat.  he tells me that he still gets anxiety, but the key to his recovery was accepting his illness and sticking on his medication.  i don't know whether your brother has gone off his medication and that is why he ends up back in hospital but this seems to be a common reason.  the only other thing i can say is that 'knowledge is power'  and you have to learn as much as you can about what is happening to your brother so that it is not so frightening.  i had a young family too when my brother wasn't well and you do feel sad about their situation, but your family comes first and you have to accept that he is in the right place in hospital.  i don't know if you have outside help from mental health agencies, but the more people you get on board the easier it will be for you and your mother too.

[hopeandsupport]

As i wrote in a previous post my brother has schizophrenia but my daughter also has it and has recently been in hospital.  another thing i thought of is how important physical affection is.  my daughter is better now but we are still having problems with her medication, but during all this she gets lots of hugs, and she loves having her hair brushed.  these are only little things but i am sure they help.  Being alone is not fun and worse when you have a mental illness.  Take care.

[Jo]

So sorry to read everyone's stories. I had a sister and nephew who lived next door to me, both with schizophrenia. One of the most frustrating things for me was that when the medication began to kick in and they consequently felt a lot better, they decided they were no longer ill and would take themselves off their medication. I think this is a common problem. It was during one of these periods that I lost both of them within 8 weeks of each other under tragic circumstances.
Re the way a loved one speaks and behaves when off their medication, it's important to keep reminding yourself that it's the illness talking, not your loved one. If you can hold firm to that fact, it may help a little. Again, so sorry you guys are going through all of this. It seems ridiculous to me that we have found a way of sending man to the moon but we still haven't discovered a cue for mental illness.

[Former-Member]

Hi Folks,

Nice to meet you all and see everyone connecting here. I'm sorry to hear about the toll that illness has taken on people and their families. I can hear that there have been some very dark times and yet how powerful connection can still be despite illness. Thanks for the reminders about physical contact and knowing that the illness doesn't have to define people. It can be challenging to do all this and manage our own lives. Any tips on self care? What people have found helpful day to day?

[Appleblossom]

Does your brother have independent housing and any support groups?