Negativity

[Lovedogsforever]

Hi everyone I'm new here.

I've been with my partner 28 years, he's younger than me, he's a negative person and it's getting worse, he's a little critical of things that I do, he doesn't seem to like anyone, he doesn't want visitors, doesn't really speak to neighbours etc just goes to work and then mostly watches TV even repeats of repeats of programs, he has some pain with arthritis and

 I have health issues and I am retired. I do everything around the house etc because I feel guilty that I don't work anymore. We bicker alot and never seem to have fun anymore. I'm sad and worn out with it all, I think he is too, but we do seem to love each other in a funny kind of way

[rav3n]

hey @Lovedogsforever, welcome to the forums!!

it sounds like you both have been feeling quite exhausted from the work you do. and i know you've mentioned you're retired but i count looking after the house and doing chores as work too! have you shared how you feel with him? 

i haven't been in a long term relationship myself, but i have seen from my parents that there were points in their life that they were just exhausted. my mum wanted to do more but my dad just wanted to stay on the couch. but eventually she did get him off the couch and they did things like going to the movies, working on garden projects at home together, etc. 

it's sweet that you both "love each other in a funny kind of way", i've got my fingers crossed that you'll both be able to work through it 💙

[Lovedogsforever]

Thank you so much for your kind words ☺️

[Sunflowers89]

I’m recently divorced, and my ex-husband was very similar. I found his constant negativity really draining, it took away so much of my joy and energy. It took me a long time to recognise that the relationship was doing me more harm than good, and another three years before I finally had the strength to walk away.

Do you feel that you want to work on the relationship? Do you think he would be open to counselling? Most importantly, can you see yourself staying in the relationship as it is now for the rest of your life?

[holdinghope5]

Welcome to the forums @Sunflowers89 

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you've done a lot to get yourself to the place you are at now.

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums.