Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Thanks for this food for thought. I wonder how you tell if something has moved from unhealthy eating pattern to disorder. If someone I know (not me) is fasting all day so that they can eat whatever they like in the evening and stay thin. Is there necessarily cause for concern.

[Bow]

Hey @Former-Member 

I think a lot of people have disordered eating habits and only a professional could determine if those disorders eating behaviours have crossed over into an eating disorder. You’d need to consider not just the behaviours but also the thoughts. If your concerned for someone I’d encourage you to seek some professional support. There are also some online tests that you can do which would tell you if you should seek further professional support. 

the butterfly foundation is always a great starting point. They provide support for family/friends etc. 

💕

[MattsOpinion]

I'm going to read all this carefully later.  

I don't have an eating disorder, but i hear voices.

Right at the moment i'm trying to eat dinner.  Shepherd's Pie.

The voices are talking whilst i'm trying to eat "He must be in her, he got in her, he's met her" they say.

It is so off putting, trying to eat, and some voice just keeps on talking about putting things in people.

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @MattsOpinion Thank you for being here and sharing your experience. I'm hearing that you find the voices off putting and that's making it difficult to finish your meal, is that right? I'm wondering if you have spoken to a GP or health professional about this as it sounds like it's causing unease? It might be something to think about.

You certainly aren't alone, as there are many people here that experience similar but the impact on your wellbeing is something to look out for and only you can be the judge of that. There is support available to you and you have some options if you would like to chat to someone about this more you can contact the SANE Support Services and I encourage you to continue reaching out here. 

hearing voices network  may be of use to you and if you are ever in distress crisis support .

Thank you for reaching out to us here and I hope you will continue to do so.

Take care, Paperdaisy 

[Paperdaisy]

Thank you to everyone who has posted and shared your experiences so far. It's such a complex issue and it's always best to get a professional opinion. 

I'm still learning and when I was researching this topic, something I found interesting is the link between diabetes and eating disorders. https://www.ndss.com.au/about-diabetes/resources/find-a-resource/diabetes-and-disordered-eating-fact... 

This factsheet also contains an interesting ‘mindful eating exercise’.

Something from my own experience: I had gestational diabetes during my second pregnancy, and I  remember questioning if this was an issue towards the end of my pregnancy because my life had started to completely revolve around food and it was truly exhausting! I became rigid and obsessive with my eating and I also felt guilt if I didn’t get a ‘good’ blood sugar reading. I think the closest thing it aligns with is orthorexia . I was grateful it didn't evolve beyond that and I don't experience this now. I can only imagine how challenging it is to live with those thoughts all the time and I want to acknowledge that. 💝

@Bow @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Rhye @tyme 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you so much for sharing that @Paperdaisy, and I agree, professional diagnosis is necessary.  

I tried for 5 years to bring my ex to medical attention, and anticipated a diagnosis, and a recovery journey where we would all pull together around him as a family, and we could all heal with support services in place.  Unfortunately it was never to be, but I certainly continue to hope for that and uphold it for anyone else in our situation.  

Without a diagnosis and the necessary support we were really struggling.  Before encountering this I didn’t realise (I guess most people wouldn’t) how much beyond the actual food or exercise issues the various conditions can go.  For us it became about mood swings, rages (“hot” and “cold”) and then invasive technological surveillance.  It was so clearly about control, and wanting / needing that down to the minutiae, and over everyone in the household and beyond.

Orthorexia patterns were absolutely part of it and became very extreme, along with C/S and excessive compulsive exercise.  I felt so badly for him, and what he must have been going through on the inside - I imagine he lives with a very harsh inner critic - however he projected the idea that it made him somehow superior.  

That is also where professional support for the sufferer and their family members is so important.  Things are not as they seem, and projections can be so believe-able.  The best I could do was to “agree to disagree” and try to hold boundaries and healthy patterns around our children, but it wasn’t enough.  I didn’t realise that he was gaslighting, devaluing, and undermining my future throughout the five years.

I wish him well, and understand that he is still really unwell, but he removed me from his journey without relinquishing ongoing financial and emotional control over my future, as yet, so  in that regard I am still under the direct influence of his ED.

Not all stories turn out like ours.  Keep aiming towards wellness everybody ❣️ Just keep swimming ….. 🐠🐡🐙🐟🦐🐳🦀🐋🦞🐬🐊🦑

[Paperdaisy]

Thank you for sharing @Faith-and-Hope and as you know stories have power and hopefully it can help someone else have some understanding and seek support if they feel they need it. Bow also made the point about control and it makes sense, something to keep front of mind. 

This must have been an incredibly difficult time for you and I'm sure you are still dealing with the aftermath, but you show incredible resilience and that's something to hold onto. 

Take care 💝

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Paperdaisy.  It was / is very difficult, but that just makes me want a better outcome for others affected by EDs.  I am so glad there is so much more structure and support around EDs than there has been in the past.

[Bow]

When I’m further along in my recovery journey and doing a lot better, I’d really

like to be able to use my experiences to advocate for change in ED treatment. I’ve had so many bad experiences. 

[flybluebird]

I think that’s incredibly inspiring and so very possible @Bow , being able to bring that resilience & personal experience of yours, even though it may not have been great experiences, into a space in order to advocate and help create change, is it that I hear would be meaningful for you? 

One of reasons of being a peer support worker for me was about how rewarding it is to give back in a specific way that is genuine and meaningful so I can hear that in how you speak about this particular area in your life.