Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Differentlife 

Not getting accused of affairs, but the interpersonal control behaviours here are extreme.  Wondering whether that is part of relationship OCD ?

That’s one way @Former-Member‘s experience comes to the fore .... she has become very adept at working with the professionals and medical support systems available to her, and addressing symptoms, like those accusations you’re receiving. individually.  

💕 @Former-Member 

[Differentlife]

Hi!  Relationship OCD is very specific and basically came as a result of low self esteem from the depression anxiety.  Accusing me of having affairs is just a smidge of what he has accused me of and then results in behaviours like looking through my emails social media assessing every comment I make and then piecing random and unrelated things to build a conspiracy theory.  Yes his pdoc certainly knows and that why with the other conditions stabilising has taken time with different meds.  He knows in his heart I haven’t done anything but he still has the obsessive thoughts so he try’s to look for things to validate his thoughts .  It is exhausting and heartbreaking for me as I’m sure it is for him too 😩  PS  he has no access to my phone or emails now of course !

[Faith-and-Hope]

We have an element of that @Differentlife, but it’s across the household (three of our adult kids still at home) rather than just me.The latest is door alerts on his phone to let him know when anyone is coming or going through the exterior doors, and there is a camera that we live with, active, in the middle of the house, for now ..... I think a diagnosis would get that taken down pretty smartly, or at least turned off when we are at home, because it’s supposedly there for aecurity purposes when we are away, but he goes into meltdown if anyone interferes with it when we are there .....

I have been put outside his “cone of care” since having to speak up about what is going on with him in front of doctors.  It registered as treason.  That doesn’t mean my phone or emails are secure.  I know he hacked one of the kids’ to access a uni report he wanted to know about.

Thank you for sharing your experience.  It helps to understand what is happening for others in a similar way.  It helps you to feel not so alone in the circumstances, especially with the changed friendship relationships that @Former-Member mentioned.  

[Former-Member]

That is a diagnosis  I have not come across before @Differentlife  needed to look it up,  little wonder you feel exhausted.

Even with the best of intentions, I could not do things on my own without support. I see a counselor on a regular basis and  ensure I maintain contact with family and friends.

[Former-Member]

Feeling your living grief @Faith-and-Hope 😢.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Former-Member 💕 ..... the lack of validation is hard, but I guess everyone is in that place, pre-diagnosis, and it can be the longest phase, apparently.

Hope you, @Differentlife and anyone else around have an okay day today.

[Differentlife]

Thank you all for the support.  I do see a counsellor and make as much time as I can for myself but I have to pick the time so not to  fire off the OCD.  He is under specific therapy models for the OCD and it is helping which in turn manages his anxiety attacks which used to be manic.  It still very sad that MI has a stigma even with all the media education etc but with this OCD he used to be manic and compulsive ringing up friends to get information on me and my alleged affairs so even though some friends are still around there is an awkardness.  I looked to this forum for support as I can’t see my therapist daily and it is good to send a message to the forum at the time you feeling sad and utterly exhausted by it all!  But things are getting better I just have to understand what the new normal is and roll with it.  It will take time ...

[Faith-and-Hope]

One of my favourite memes @Differentlife 🌷

[Former-Member]

Don't we all wish for that magic pill @Differentlife 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Differentlife 

my hubby does have medication

 but no counsellor support,

the biggest thing is my husband decides to stop his meds from time to time

@Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope