Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

[SJT63]

@Carlachris 

I'm really weary today. I've read  your last post a few times and I feel sorry that it's come to this, but also admire your strength. 

I am on a very short fuse at the moment even though he's not too bad, it's a bit like battle fatigue, isn't it?

Love and strength x

[Carlachris]

@SJT63 You do sound very tired.....it is like a running battle isn't it. With me it's more compassion fatigue. I have been taken to the brink of my own mental health trying to be his EVERYTHING But he keeps moving the goal Posts.
Husband and wife tag team ,Jenga.......All the supports offered a few weeks ago from services have NOT materialized as I knew would happen. The Gaps are Gapeing holes that mental health keeps falling through. I'm still here hanging on by a thread. Day by day. 
I wish I could come and make you a cuppa and we could sit as non Mentally ill people and have a conversation about realatively mundane things and eat cakes....lol. I have to remind myself from time to time......"Hey I don't have a mental illness he does" we take on so much sometimes don't we. 
Maybe it's time you asked for a bit of respite for yourself and he goes home for a few weeks to his own unit and deals with his own reality of tree gate and pests etc....you can recover your strength. I can thoroughly recommend it. It's tough being consumed by MI......... that's what happens. 
Big hugs sounds like you need a bit of time being just you and not the gate keeper. 

[Shaz51]

ohhh Hugs @Carlachris , @SJT63 , @TideisTurning , @Faith-and-Hope , @bipolarbunny 

i ammmm feeeling very tird tonight my awesome friends xoxoxo

[SJT63]

@Carlachris 

how goes it?

We are ok at mine right now.

[Carlachris]

@Shaz51 What's happening? Is it just the day today groundhog existence we are all living? Or like me are the batteries low? I think I need Solar power but it just won't stop raining. Another week ahead of pouring rain but at least today has been beautiful. 🌼

[Shaz51]

wow @Carlachris  you are having rain my friend 

hot and sunny up here , telling us that summer is coming 

Hello @SJT63 , @TideisTurning , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Carlachris]

@SJT63 We are ok as well. The meds have finally kicked in and hubby is realizing how dreadfully ill he has been. Having everything in a Webster pack has been a big success. The services are slipping away but he is still for now being treated as an outpatient. That will be the next big step forward but so far for now I have my lovely husband back again and reasonably stable. All psych services seem to be on the phone now and we can access that where ever we end up so we have made the decision to retire. Life is too short. 
We have some big things coming up in the next 6 mths like selling the house and moving further out of the metropolitan to regional but it's what we need to do. Our town has been ruined by the crisis never to be the same again for both our peace of minds we are moving further out. For now and hopefully the future we will begin again. 
feelings are optimistic first time in a very very ling time. 
big hugs everyone who needs them. 🌷🌼🌷

[Doreen]

How can I get my partner to care more?  Pay attention even??

[Scoo]

Hello to all the new people I haven't met before. 
@Doreen Since my husband has been on medication he has stabilised and is less anxious and depressed. He can now look back on his pre medicated self and he wonders why he resisted medication all these years. He has also become more aware of how his MI impacted on me. Before meds he was too self absorbed and in self preservation mode to notice the impact his behaviour had on me. Even though he liked me to be vulnerable I could never be, because I needed to be his rock. Consequently I got used to not crying and being self sufficient. This became my normal. On a recent trip to the emergency department (my heart was playing up) I got hubby to drop me off at the hospital. He offered to stay but I said I didn't need him to stay. So he went back to work. His work colleagues couldn't believe he didn't stay with me. Like I said I've got so used to being the strong one I thought staying with me at the hospital was wasting his time. Anyway that's a long winded way of saying MI can be very selfish. 

[Scoo]

@Carlachris  I hope the move goes well. It sounds like an exciting way to commence retirement.