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Bridget1
Casual Contributor

Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Hi im new to this forum my name is bridget i am 30 years old.

My nan was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when she was in her early 20s.

My nan didn't have the best upbringing her father passed away from a heart attack when she was 3 years old and he mother was really cruel to her physically abusive/neglect.

My nan got placed in a orphanage and did not see her sisters or mother again.

My nan met my granfather in her hearly 20s and they fell in love, my nan and granfather found out they were expecting a child.

But this did not go to plan the baby was severely diformed and i feel this took a toll on my nans mental health.

They had a succesful pregnancy with my mum about aproximatly 1 year later.

My granfather refused to be in the room with her when she gave birth because he was afraid the same thing would happen to the new baby.

That must have been so lonely for her and not to mention she was probably so afraid herself.

 

When my mum was in her early teens, her and my granfather noticed my nan would say some really odd things, hear voices, talk to herself and freak out randomly.

My grandfather just ignored it even though he knew somthing could be wrong.

It wasnt until my dad met my mum they decided to go get her checked out, the day they took her to the doctor would soon turn into disaster.

My nan screamed and ran from the doctor claiming he was going to harm her, he then diagnosed her with paranoid schizophrenia.

She was prescribed medicine and did take it for a bit but she decided she was now "fixed" and stopped taking it.

 

My grandfather and my nan split up he couldnt handle her non treatment and she turned against him, cinvinced he was a bad guy aswel.

 

My grandfather passed away 2 years ago of a aggresive cancer, he still loved my nan.

 

My nan has not had the best life around Dealing with her past and bringing up me and my sister while my mum was a drug addict and our father re marraied and decided he did not want us in his life.

 

My nan often talks to herself but that is all i know to me it feels normal and to my other siblings our partners and my neices and nephews it just feels normal.

 

Fast forward to today.

My nan has not seen a doctor since she was in her early 20s, 

She is 68 years old now.

 

She seems to be deteriorating, we have started to notice blood on our toilet floors after she uses our toilets and my sister and mum have seen blood all over the back of her pants seeping up her top.

 

We have asked for help and advice from our hospital/mental health team.

They are worried about her! but there is nothing we can do aparently, as my nan has no health record we cant get power attourney to get her help.

She looks so weak, losing weight and is not cleaning her house as she usually would.

She is always asleep on her couch when we ring her or visit.

 

I confronted nan about a month ago i let her know that if there is somthing wrong she can trust me i can help her, i told her i seen the blood she denied it.

I just left it at that because i dont want to stress her out.

 

I feel deflated alongside my sister mum and brothers, i am so worried about her she is my best friend in the whole entire world and the thought of losing her is to much.

I dont want to sit here and watch her suffer and die i need her to stay alive! I need my nan.

 

I feel like im being punished and robbed of my nan by a mental illness!!!! Im so angry and sad!!!

 

I cant even go to bed at night without sitting there nearly crying because im so scared for her i cant even go to work and do my job properly because all i think about is my nan my poor nan!!!!

8 REPLIES 8

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Hi @Bridget1 Bless you all for supporting your Nan through her journey. A hard road she has travelled. From your post, it seems your Nan needs medical attention asap to find out what's going on. Can a GP be organised to do a home visit? Or what do they suggest you do. Something has to be done, not only for your Nan but also for you and your families peace of mind. I really hope a doctor or mental health service can help you sort this. 

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Morning @Bridget1 

 

I am sorry that your Nan's mental health is taking over and you feel so angry that it seems you cant help her.  I hope you dont mind me telling you how I dealt with my own elderly mum's mental health and how slowly we are getting her better.

 

My mother is a strong, independent woman.  She is our matriach and always had our back.  Now the role is reversed and its hard on her.  She has Lewy body Alzheimers and it went from being a full functtioning teacher to now forgeting her date of birth.  Due to frustrations she bacame depressed and started to be in her world where she felt safe.  She has no ambition and just wanted to die.  The only thing I could do was to give her space.  She refused to take medication and was very hard to get to appointments.

 

I tried so many ways to make her see reason.  Many Counselling sessions and we finally had a break through.  We found a Counsellor that allowed her to talk about her problems and put it in a prespective that she understood.  I realised that she sees things differently than we do and I didnt take that into affect.

 

For your Nan maybe due to the trauma from her visit last time to the doctor might set her into a panic attack.  You know her better.. try to find a way that makes sense rather than guilting her to do it or forcing her.  Dementia Australia will be my first point of call and see if they can come in and talk to her.  All she needs is to have one person that she can relate too and you will have a better run at it.  

 

Also dont think its going to be like it use too.  This is the new norm and its OK!  In regards to her house, just start picking one small thing at a time to clean it up.. or ask her if you can help her with the cleaning.. or I assume you lived with her when you were little.. maybe ask her what chore you need to do today..  Always engage with her like you need her to tell you what to do and hopefully its easier to help her.  Medication will be hard but find ways to make it easy for her.  I usually place it on the bench while mum is eating and she just takes it.  Dont forget if she is refusing thats OK.. this is her new norm.  You then have to find another way on how to present the medication.  

 

Again I need to express that this is your Nans new normal.. Dont have regrets and sadness.  Love the new Nan and ensure she is comfortable and safe..  

 

I hope this helps you.. and remember this is Nan and its OK..  Also be kind to yourself.. It is what it is and its OK.. if you can see it this way then you can see that you can enjoy Nan..  (but work on getting her medication for her health, services and above all always show her love) ..

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Hi @Bridget1, sorry to hear about your nan. I have been through a similar situation with my mum. I found it really helpful to read I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help!, How to Help Someone With Mental Illness Accept Treatment by Xavier Amador. It's very good and I hope it helps you too. 

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Hi,

Thankyou for sharing your story and experience it actually helped me with my own problems. I myself have been through/still going through exactly what your Nan has dealt with. Psychosis is a VERY scary place. 

I first got diagnosed with post partum psychosis after suffering the tragic loss of our son. I didn't realise at the time what was happening to me I didn't even believe that there was such a thing called post partum psychosis.. I thought everyone was against me, trying to plot my death, It was a dark dark scary place I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.  

Recently something triggered my pyschosis and I'm unfortunately going through it again. Although I know deeep down the delusional thoughts and such are not real, but my mind tells me otherwise.

I feel for you and your family, I know first-hand how it wouldve been making you all feel. My partner loves me dearly but it gets too much for him sometimes and I'm scared I will lose him too like your Nan lost her husband... But I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story I really appreciated reading it. And it made me feel like I'm not alone out there, there are others who have been through exactly what I am dealing with. Big love ❤️

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Nan will not let any sort of doctor inside her home she doesnt trust anyone at all, i forgot to mention on my above post that she did actually get placed in a mental asylum where i live that got completly shut down for treating the patients really awfully and experimenting on them.

I guess thats another reason why she wont seek help 😞

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Thankyou i might need to have a read!!

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Thankyou for your post, i am so sorry to hear that you are going through somthing so hard.

I am also sorry to hear about your son ❤❤

You are not alone i am glad you came accross my story and it might help you in some kind of way.

I wish you happiness and peace and great heath x

 

Re: Somthing is not right (nan has paraonid schizophrenia)

Update the ambulance was rang on advice from the mental health team, she refused help and the ambulance person said that she is dying.

She cant walk anymore, she isnt eating or drinking she has lost even more weight

My heart is broken 

And i feel so angry that no one can help because where i live people with mental illness have been given more rights.

I understand they have rights but as carers we should have rights aswel 

 

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