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LittleMonkey
New Contributor

Depressed

I m on ivf journey with a partner that not cooperative. He gave me a silent treatment. He didnt care . He went to his parents place every single nite after working. How long should i be lonely like this? Im too weqk to talk. I cant express myself. He left me crying whole nite. Treat me like a tantrum child 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Depressed

IVF is very hard and stressful... You both might need a break... How long have you been trying for a baby?  Also are you sure you cannot conceive naturally.  Sometimes it is not the woman who is infertile... I tried  ivf once.... It was hell.... Then a year after got pregnant naturally.  I gave up so my stress came down and  I was doing plan b... Following my career dream... Then I was happy again and  suddenly got pregnant.  But. I was sleeping better... Eating healthy and going to the park... No stress.... Oh and I took herbs from a naturopath... Found her on the website  Sharkeys natural healing in Queensland... She did a consultation on the internet and sent me herbs... I took them 2 months then gave up but was. Pregnant a. Month later.  Cheaper than IVF and less stressful.  You need support from women in the same situation.  Don't give up.  A partner can't give you all the support you need.  IVF forums can help.... 

Re: Depressed

Hello @LittleMonkey 

Welcome to the forums 💕

 

Gosh what an emotional roller coaster for you and him. I am so sorry. I can't personally relate to your situation but stress brings out the worst in all of us.

 

I'm not sure what to really suggest other than having an open conversation with him about how you are feeling. Try phrases like when X happens, it makes me feel Y. Rather than pointing the finger or blaming. 

This will hopefully avoid arguments and blame games. 

 

Is he usually like this around issues or just this one? If he is perhaps ask yourself is this someone you want to be spending your forever with.

 

Good luck @LittleMonkey, I hope that by being here it helps 🙏💕

 

 

Re: Depressed

Hi @LittleMonkey 

 

I hope your well..

 

I am sorry that you feel alone in this stage of IVF.  I was always told that I couldnt have children because of having polysistic ovaries and edometriosis.  So I always thought I would need IVF.  

 

When I was with my partner we both believed we couldnt fall pregnant.  He was very cold and refused to have intimacy.  Every night I cried sleeping alone and I thought he didnt care.

 

Looking back, I think he wanted to make sure I wasnt disappointed in not concieving and rather made me sleep first so we wont be intimate.  In the other hand he might just dont want to deal with my emotions.

 

So maybe thats what your husband is doing.  he thinks by not being at home will mean he is doing the right things as he is not showing his disappointment and thinks by not being there your not hurt by it.  Either way you need to talk it out with no emotional blame.

 

My story ended with me falling pregnant (without IVF) and him leaving.. he wasnt ready for a child apparently..  

 

I hope this helps you see a different light.  Maybe you are too focused on IVF that you cant see the actual situation..  

 

Be kind to yourself and love what you have.. xx

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