Lived Experience Forum

[JustinSane]

I apologise for not being on this site for a while, still coming to terms with my Mother's death, struggling with grief and wrestling with the ideas of mortality and an after life. This poem is a product of me, mulling over these and other questions.

We yearn desperately

For a deity,

A glimpse of divinity.

Something numinous 

A love luminous

Transcending infinity

But what are the odds
That there are Gods
Up in the sky above us?
Who heed each prayer?
Who really care?
Who intervene and love us?

But there's no trace
Of Gods, just space
In the universe so vast
A vacuum, a void
The odd asteroid
Hurtling so rapidly past

Many a sun
But no Gods, none
That's just wishful thinking
Those Gods of ours
Are really stars
Above us, brightly twinkling

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @JustinSane,

Your poem is so well written and thought provoking. Sitting with you and understanding your grief as I have lost a parent too.

Be kind to yourself, and allow yourself the time you need.

Reach out whenever you need - we are always here for you.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

[hanami]

Hi there @JustinSane 

No need to apologise for your absence. Totally understandable my friend. Love this poem. Such a hard thing to grapple with, afterlife, grief, gods, wishful thinking. I try not to think about it too much but when a loved one passes I feel these thoughts are inevitable. When I was pregnant with my four (and last) child, my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, told he had 7months to live. 'Scheduled' by drs to pass away at the time when his grandaughter was due. Indeed, I went to his funeral ready to burst. My daughter was born the next day and she reminded me so much of my father-in-law. It was so weird. I kind of feel that his spirit lives on in her. Not to compare my father-in-law's passing to your beloved mother's. But I just had these thoughts when I read that poem and thought I'd share. At the end of the day, losing a loved one is the worst. But I love that you shared your poem. You really have a gift.

[JustinSane]

@hanami
Thanks for your reply and sorry about your loss. Yes all grieve in different ways, I just try to express, love, sadness and the mystery of our being in my last poem

[JustinSane]

@FloatingFeather
thank you for your offer of support. It feels to me at this particular point in time, that the only tools I have to combat this overwhelming sadness and grief are a few paltry words cobbled together, trying to express the ineffable. But I am thankful that someone reads it, relates to it and replies to me. Thank you most sincerely

[StuF]

@JustinSane 

This is my favourite of your posted works so far

I'm just sorry it was borne from such loss

[JustinSane]

@StuF
thank you it's comforting to know you like this posting of mine best of all. It came from a lonely place, pondering the mystery of life and death and faith in a God and the adterlife