Schizophrenia

[Ruby66]

@Appleblossom thanks so much for your detailed message. I think we have messaged before.

I agree with you about feeling silenced by the pain and the shame. I can relate to that. It sounds like you had a really difficult time when you were younger.

I'm interested to hear you say it is too hard for most people, qualified or unqualified and that only a few rare gems can cope even hearing those words.

I guess I have felt silenced too and haven't even tried out the 'S' word with most people.

I attend some sibling support groups every now and again which I have found great and the public speaking is for one of them.

Wondering if you have ever attended any of those groups?

My counsellor is trained in 'Internal family systems' which is about how all of us have 'parts', some more extreme in some people than others. Interesting.

[Ruby66]

@tyme thank you for your message. I think the article about the renaming of schizophrenia was somewhere on this website if interested.

Thanks for asking, I am ok. Getting over last weekend, it was my dead sisters birthday, I asked my parents if they would like to come to a market with me near the cemetary. Mum took it upon herself to send me lots of messages that morning to say what a 'happy' day it was and 'happy birthday' to me! She is nearly 88 and probably very sad underneath but I struggled with being told lots it was a 'happy' day. 

I will be a bit more cautious in the future about these particular days and my grief and who I share them with. 

[tyme]

Awwww @Ruby66 ,

That sounds so hard. Grief is such a tricky one. That cycle of grief is timeless. Some take a lot longer than others to work through.

Are there things you do to comfort yourself?

[Appleblossom]

I did one 6 week group for grief from suicide. @Ruby66 The larger organisation was also complicit in the CSA for my father, so I had many mixed feelings about them, though the group was good. It included other relationships. 

I have looked at IFS a little and used those ideas to understand and process.

 I didn’t want to make too long a post, but wanted to distinguish between Schizophrenia and suicide.

[asssailed]

my first problems were what i call death obsessions ie i had this compulsive fear my actions have or will cause death or injury ,i dont know if many or anybody has such

[RiverSeal]

Hey @asssailed, thanks for sharing your experiences with the community!

That sounds challenging to deal with and I have not come across that before. How would you descibe this experience, as a delusion or paranoia or maybe soemthing else? 

Have you seen the Hearing Voices and Psychois thread?

Love to hear more about your experiences and connect again

Take care

RiverSeal 

[asssailed]

id worry that something i did would cause a death or injury ,most my first worries were about poisons or germs so i slowly but surely found myself washing my hands or washing something or id be disposing of something considered dangerous but increasingly i was dealing with worries that i guess in reality only had extremely remote chance of occuring i worked at public trustee office first then dept of civil aviation so got worries my clerical error might lead to plane crash so i was checking over and over washing hands over and over i slowly became a checking and rechecking maniac bathing endlessly washing clothes over and over

[tyme]

How are you going with day to day managing of things @asssailed ? What's helpful?

[asssailed]

well im in a terrible mess here at moment ceiling has partly collapsed and its two ceilings one nailed onto a much older one so lead paint dust everywhere and place up for auction bloke wants just patch it to look good for auction making it even far worse

[asssailed]

does anyone here have a problem of looking behind for dead or injured bodies particularly if try to drive a car