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Something’s not right

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme I think there is a science behind the technique of breathing too. I used to take deep breathes from my chest instead of belly.

I certainly hope the unpleasantness doesn’t keep coming back as much though, have been experiencing these trauma body sensations every single day for some time now. It does come and go throughout the day, but still very exhausting to deal with.

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

There is certainly a science behind breathing @creative_writer ! I use the Smiling Mind app, and through it, I had a revelation/realisation/awakening, that the breath is something you always have with you - it is powerful and is so convenient to access at any time - if only we know HOW to access it effectively.

 

My psychologist went through the science behind breathing, and from there on, I continually in awe of its strength.

 

Keep at it @creative_writer ! 

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer  I wasn't able to come online yesterday, but hope that today is better for you...

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@NatureLover slowly getting there.

Feeling really lonely right now. So I grew up with really protective parents who hold the view you can’t really rely on friends and only family. But I can’t talk to them. And I feel like I’m not supposed to be rely on other people, because they are not reliable and I don’t want to become dependent. I feel so confused. Like I’m not supposed to get emotional support from anyone then in my personal life. I feel so lonely though. I feel like having support would help a lot, I don’t want someone to fix me but support me while I heal.

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I really like that point you have made @creative_writer - you don't want someone to 'fix' you but to help you heal.

 

What you posted really resonated with me because I grew up being taught to be independent. We didn't show our emotions outwardly as I was taught our emotions were ours and our issue. Also, I never had the role model of parents who showed any emotion. They just didn't. They never cried, never argued, never hugged... but that was the 'normal' for me.

 

I just things turned when I realised that this isn't normal - that showing emotions doesn't mean you have 'lost control'. It was a long journey for me to finally accept that there's a better kind of 'normal'. 

 

So yes, my emotions often turned inward and became harmful.

 

Writing on these forums gave me space to heal. Gave me a safe space to share what was happening for me. It taught to that it's okay to share. 

 

As a regular member on the forums, just like you @creative_writer , I found the power of connecting with people who understood. 

 

That's why I'm here today.

 

tyme

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme growing up must have been really difficult 😢 . For me, it’s not so much that my parents didn’t want me to show no emotions, it’s just that, particularly my mum wants to solve my problems herself and wants to be my therapist.

Re: Struggling: TW suicide


@tyme wrote:

I just things turned when I realised that this isn't normal - that showing emotions doesn't mean you have 'lost control'. It was a long journey for me to finally accept that there's a better kind of 'normal'. 


 

@tyme  What a powerful post you wrote above. All of it. Thank you. 

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Sorry you feel lonely @creative_writer  😞

 

And I feel sad that your parents effectively limited you from finding emotional support where most people find it - from their friends 😞

 

We are here for you 💙

 

(I am generally only around in the early morning, and I'll explain why...When I joined the forums in 2020 I was spending 4-5 hours a day on here...and I burnt out. So now my psychologist has set me a limit of 3.5 hours a week on the forums, in the morning only so I don't keep ducking back on here throughout the day. So when you post, during the day or evening, I probably won't be here, but I will be here to support you the next morning. It does mean I miss people's crises, which seem to happen at night...but it is what it is...I can only do what I can do. I also get depressed in the evenings, which means I withdraw...Just wanted to explain.)

 

I am also sending wishes for you...

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@NatureLoverthat’s completely understandable ❤️. Evenings can be tough for many people.

A part of me wants to withdraw from all of my professional and emotional supports from close friends. I just had a difficult conversation yesterday with my mum. I told her I got recommended more supports. And I was advised to be careful with what I say around them, so I don’t give them the impression my suicidal thoughts are worse than they actually are. Which isn’t much of an issue anyways, I am safe and I’m not sure how I can come off as more unsafe than I am. And she said that more people will have authority over me if more people get involved.

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I think I understand what’s going on for me right now, my trust issues have become more activated. Like do people really care about me? What’s the chance of me getting hurt in the process? I’ve been in a harmful therapy setting before. Like is it right for me to feel safe around people?
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