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Something’s not right

Re: I think I might be done

@SJT63 

 

That's a really interesting read. .. I know that probably comes across as insensitive but it reminds me of the book about Richard Kuklinski.  

 

As frightening as it must be, it is good to see you are starting to stand your ground but stinky special cuddles definitely don't sound appealing.  I get the feeling your probably left hanging as well.  

 

Where do you go from here?  Is he the most singular piece of importance in your life or do you still have good connections with friends and family yourself? 

Re: I think I might be done

I write well, but I don't live with a mob hitman.

 

No I'm not left hanging, which some nights would be preferable then it would be over quicker and I could go to sleep. At nearly 60 I've learnt to fake it.

 

Where do you go from here?  Is he the most singular piece of importance in your life or do you still have good connections with friends and family yourself? 

 

I work full time managing the office for a structural engineering consultancy. I'm building up a celebrancy business in preparation for semi-retirement in two years time, after which I will also start selling the millinery and/or lingerie I make. I have shares in a racehorse.

 

I don't see as much of my family as I probably should, but I also have little in common with them. I have a handful of girlfriends who work in the same building as me, but mostly my good friends live in a different state, as I moved 15 years ago. My adult daughter lives abroad, my son doesn't like me very much but he had a troubled adolescence. 

 

Mr S is the most important person in my life at the moment, but I'm not isolated in the real sense of the word. He takes a lot of looking after but he has made us completely self sufficient in the vege department. He supports my goal for self sufficiency (I make a lot of things from scratch that most people buy) and we have the same political stance on most issues.

 

I don't tell many people about my home life because those I do tell insist I end it. I talk most about him here  because it is safe to do so. I talk with his elderly father sometimes because his dad has been on this journey a lot longer than I have. His dad also thinks I should leave. I don't want to.

 

Another Mrs on here has taught me the mantra "don't engage with the rage" and I'm giving that a go.

 

When he is himself, niether manic nor depressed, he is perfect.

Re: I think I might be done

Sorry for the late reply @SJT63 , but I had just noticed that you had replied. 

 

Thank you for taking the time out to answer my curiosity and I am genuinely humbled that you do. I am also glad that you do get wisdom and support out of the forums.  There is so much knowledge in you and these forums and I am glad I have found it. 

 

I hope you have been having some good days but I am here if you need to vent, always curious, always wanting to know more and understand if I can ever bring an idea that makes a bad day good.. even if it's just once. 

 

Talk soon

Re: I think I might be done

@AussieRecharger 

 

mea culpa... I forgot to tag you last time.

Re: I think I might be done

You think you might be done @SJT63 ,

 

I think I might be fed up with abusive people.

 

If someone breaks your privacy in 2016, and you've changed your phone number at least twice, how do they break it again in 2021?

 

Sorry for the high-jack but suburban psychopaths hit a raw nerve with me. Corny

 

Re: I think I might be done

@Corny 

do I assume this is an ex that has found you again?

 

I have no answers I'm afraid

Social media has a lot to answer for

 

We have a relative who's wife had to run away. We are all still in touch with her and their daughter but none of us will add him to our social media in case he uses it to find her. One day we all know there will probably be an accidental security breach.

 

Unless everyone's privacy settings are properly locked down then friends of friends can find you in the mutual friend's friends list.

 

what a confusing sentence! but I think you know what I mean. nothing is truly private any more

Re: I think I might be done

@SJT63 

 

Although I 100 percent stand by you leaving him, I'm not going to tell you too. The final decision to leave for good has to be yours. I've read your stories and followed this quite a bit. We are different which is fine too. Mentally ill or not, hard life or not, his fault or not, this is abuse. No ifs, buts or maybes. If you are prepared to understand and accept he is never going to change ever and you can live like you are and knowing that he has never going to change then stay. If you truly cannot for the rest of your life, you know what you need to do when you are ready and if you are ever ready. 

 

Thoughts are with you. Sending love. 

Re: I think I might be done

@Powderfinger 

 

that was a long time ago now... or so it seems... 

 

I'm still here

 

I'm just not brave enough to call it a day, some days I curse myself for being here and him for being the way he is, and other days it's ok

 

I'm getting better at not being bullied and the combination of new meds and a new psychologist have made a difference to him. His "bad" phases are not so bad these days and I no longer feel resonsible when he gets angry.

 

I wish it wasn't like this, but it is, and for the time being I'm still looking after him.

 

Thanks xoxox

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