@ENKELI Wow that's a lot of money needed. Nothing is cheap these days. And they don't even make the products as strong and tuff as they did back in the day.
My Mum & Aunty both told me to get a prenuptial drawn up, but I didn't listen, because i was in love and thought he would never do that to me. That was before he showed me his true self. And I even worked in a law firm, as their Legal Bookkeeper, so I probably could have got one done rather easily.
How old was the house when you purchased it. If the housing prices stay up like they are, at least you should be able to recover your money.
I built my house with my previous partner, so it was too new to worry about things needing replacement. Before losing the house, I had never rented before, and I had no idea there was a list of things that you couldn't do in a rental. I wasn't happy when I found out that I couldn't put my prints up on the walls in the house. I was so used to be able to do what I wanted. Lol
That's the problem with DV is, you can't predict that it's going happen or when. And I bet, just like me, you would have thought that you would still be earning income for plenty of years to come, that would have covered the debt that you signed up for.
By no fault of your own, you were forced into a position where you can no longer earn income to cover your expenses, which then would have caused you financial stress and more worrying. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You deserve so much better.
I was in the same boat in mid 2018. I was working for a family law firm earning $40/hr, and in the end the father and son were arseholes.
My last lot of DV commenced in January that year and then a big one in July where the police were called in, and he was taken to jail. The police arranged for an intervention order to be put in place, and the officers explain that he wasn't to come nowhere near me. But a lot of good that did, as the officers didn't check to see if he had my house key on him. I was lying in bed trying to sleep, but I was too traumatised to sleep. Next thing around 3 in the morning, I heard a key go into the front door, and I just froze. I screamed at him to get out and not to come near me, but he had come back to get the keys to his house and then he left. After the DV, I needed to take time off from work, and I also needed time to find accommodation, move house and organise transferring my daughter to a new school. About 5 days before my birthday i was called into the office and told if I take any more time off, they will need to find a replacement. They didn't know that my doctor had already given me two lots of 2 weeks off as sick leave. (I think they have brought in a domestic violence leave now, which is in addition to normal annual and sick leave.) But they didn't know that I was entitled to take those weeks off if I really wanted to. I didn't take it because I feared that they would sack me.
So, as you can imagine I was crying and upset at work. My relationship had just ended, and I was trying to process what I had just been through, and what my daughter had witnessed. And then the boss pipes up and says, we want you to smile more around the office, as it is bad for morale. I tell you; I was so close to jumping across his desk and punching him in the face. I couldn't believe he just said that to me.
The next day was my day off, and then the following night there was more DV that night and I knew that I was going to need more time off work. I was held against my will overnight and into the morning hours while he did what he wanted to me. But because he held me against my will all night and into the morning, the CIB was called in and I had to go to the police station to be interviewed by the detectives, and then once that was done, I had to go through the same process with the police. I didn't get home until 3am In the morning, so I sent a text my boss saying that I quit.
Since it was group certificate time, I told him I will come in and do them, and then I will be leaving. While there he said am I sure that I want to leave, and I said yes through my tears. He then said have a think about it tomorrow and then let me know by 5pm what your decision is. The next morning a forensic police officer knocked on my door at 9.00 am, to take some official photos of my injuries. After he left, I took some strong pain killers as my head was killing me. The tablets knocked me out and I didn't wake up until 5.30pm. There was a message on my phone saying that my resignation has been accepted, since I didn't bother to message him. So, I sent him back a message explaining the situation and he didn't give a shit. So now I found myself in a new rental, with a loan for a FPV Ford Falcon car at the cost of $60,000, and no job to pay them. I certainly was not in a position to look for another job. After making the car payment, there wasn't much money left for food, utilities or rent. It was at this stage that my ex and I agreed, it would be best for my daughter to live with him. As he could give her the better amount of care, and a roof over her head. I was in no condition to take care of her as I couldn't function myself. By the end of the year, I had fallen 2 weeks behind in my rent, and they evicted me in February. So now I have, no job, no roof over my head and no daughter. I used to own two cars at that time, but the ex borrowed my fake cobra, as he need to get to where he was staying. I leant it to him, so I didn't have to deal with him, and he was out of my face. He heard on the grapevine that I had a male over for coffee at one point and he got so mad that he drove down that night to see me. And to do what I am not sure. Of course, we were no longer together so it was none of his business if I had a male in the house having a coffee. Near my house, there was a section of gravel, and he obviously came flying around the corner, lost control and smashed the car straight into a tree and pole and wrote my car off. It was not worth insuring, as the replacement parts were too expensive, and they would have written off the car anyway.
At this point, I had no choice but to declare myself bankrupt. Which meant my car, that I absolutely loved (my 1st V8) was reprocessed. I actually cried as I watched them take it away. This is when the couch surfing commenced. and my SI's and attempts continued. As I had basically lost everything by this point.
If you got this far, thank you so much for reading it. I obviously felt the need to get it off my chest. I hope it makes sense.
Have a great morning.
@GezzaP because of my PTSD I have trouble sleeping at night, so I'm usually up most of the nights watching shows on my phone, so I have something else to concentrate on. This stops my mind from doing reruns of my past.
I usually fall asleep between 3 and 6 am. But when I have appointments coming up, I need to work at reverting my sleep back to normal. So next week I have to try and get back to normal sleeping hours. as I have a feeling i will be attending a few appointments in the next couple of weeks. But normally I sleep a lot anyway.
I am about to turn the computer off after I look at a couple of more message, So I can start to watch my phone until I fall asleep. So good morning and I hope the day goes well for you.
