Lived Experience Forum

[seven1164]

Hi I'm feeling so isolated and lonly at the moment.'ve had agorophobia for 30 yrs but am doing a bit better now.My friends have all left and i only have my 2 dogs and computer for company.I've tried setting up a coffee group and did go to 1 coffee morning but now my mental health and mood has dropped down so much i struggle to get through the day.I just want some friends to talk to.Nobody ever rings and asks am i ok,I handle my life on my own,although i do have a support worker twice a week to help me get out but i pretend that everything is ok.I put a post up on facebook in an over 50's freindship forum for people to chat to..but only 1 person answered my message..i cry my eyes out nearly everyday.I supose it's actually good to get it out there how i'm feeling,i've been carrying it around for a while now

[MIFANTCARER]

Hi @seven1164 

I hope your day is going well.. and you are ok!  

You are never alone and I would be happy to say hello once a week and check up on you.  Also you dont have to pretend that your OK!...  

I m currently working and munching on Red Rock Deli Gourmet crackers the Murray River salt and black pepper flavour... Its very delicious.  I'd offer you some but you might be too far..

You are too hard on yourself.. Give yourself some slack.. people right now are in lockdown and busy trying to keep busy in their own little bubble..  Also who cares if no one answers just keep posting what is in your mind good or bad and keep inviting people to comment.. be careful though as you might get bad responses and dont take it to heart!  some people are just nasty in Facebook and Instagram.

Why dont you start a coffee shop group online then you can invite people to talk to you without leaving the comfort of your home..  But I do encourage you to go out and smell the roses sometimes or walk the dogs.  I know you are fighting your agorophbia but if you have a good day try to get out and be amongst people.  You dont need to talk to them but its nice just to be amongst people.

Hope to speak to you soon..  xxx

[Historylover]

 Hello  @seven1164  Nice that you could post here anyway.  It's nice to meet you.  I don't have agoraphobia but live very isolated because of long-standing circumstances.  It's very difficult.  

I had a look on Facebook as I would have loved to join a friendship group such as yours, but they all had a lot of members.  I guess they have been there for a longer time and perhaps you have taken yours down?

What state are you in?  I am in Melbourne, Victoria.  Rather cold here today but I noticed that daffodils are starting to bloom so I guess Spring is on its way.

Do you have hobbies @seven1164 ? Perhaps you could join a library.  Some deliver but I don't know if there are hoops to jump over to get that service.  Catalogues are usually online for each branch, I think.  There are lots of things you could learn about on youtube and there is always some form of gardening - potted herbs, potted plants, window sill gardening.  Perhaps you could further your education on a subject you didn't understand at school.  For me, teaching myself has taken me much further than any teacher has.  Not all teachers 'talk' to our specific mindset.

I joined a walking group today but as I was the only person in it - it's new - they are holding off for 3 members.  So it's yet to begin.

Please try to find some interests, even crafts.  I know - you prefer personal contact.  Me too.  In an ongoing form so that we can get to know each other.  I'm still looking for something I can do in the longer term.  At least you have a support worker.  I'd love one but I guess that comes with NDIS?  

Anyway - just wanted to say Hello and let you know there are lots of us who are also lonely, isolated for one reason or another.

I hope today is going alright for you and I send you my best wishes.

[Lost9]

Hi @seven1164 ,

I don't have agoraphobia but I did hate going outside amongst people after a long period of illness. My bedroom had become my sanctuary. I forced myself out on small trips of about 5 mins at a time to get over it. I did get over it eventually. I'm not saying it would work for you but it did work for me. 
I have schizophrenia and have bouts of depression. I live with my elderly parents in Melbourne. I have lost contact with people over time and just have a few family friends. I love animals including cats and dogs. We had a yellow female Labrador called Sandy and a ginger and white male tabby called Shells and when they died we had another yellow female Labrador called Sally.  Now we just admire the birds in the garden and next door's cats (5 of them). 
I love Murder mysteries and watch a lot of the BBC crime shows. I tinker on the piano and I love art and craft. Our house and my brother's house is filled with my pictures which have been collected over the years. I don't know if you watch tv but we've recently discovered ivew, which has a lot of the abc mini series that can be viewed for free. Similarly there are other shows through Freeview for the other channels. 
By the way, what type of dogs do you have? What are their names? Do you have any doggy stories you wish to share?

hope today is a relatively good day for you,

lost9

[Dimity]

Hi @seven1164  ( and hello to @Lost9 @Historylover @MIFANTCARER )

Welcome to the forums. I'm so glad you reached out. I'm sorry you're so lonely. I  live alone too and don't see anyone and often feel lonely too. I just lost one of my 2 beloved cats  My sense of identity and purpose was pretty much caught up in my work but when I abruptly took early retirement ( I wasn't coping mentally or physically) that evaporated. 

Is there a park where you can walk your dogs and greet other dog owners? I say hello or wave to neighbours I pass while walking, it gives a small sense of connection. I've joined Facebook groups with similar interests - gardening, nature, environmental advocacy - and interact online. I'm investigating U3A - you might be able to google them to see if there are interesting groups in your area. I have a bit of social anxiety so am starting a group based on presentations rather than a lot of discussions. Lockdowns have complicated things and the groups associated with my local library don't seem to have resumed this year.

I hope you've seen from this thread that there are people who are more than happy to engage with you. So I hope we can all keep the conversation going. Looking forward to hearing from you again @seven1164 

Dimity

[LostAngel]

that sounds very sad to be going through on your own please reach out on here as Im sure many of us can understand and will also reach out to you,aand please try to find something that you can do to treat yourself or take of you a hobby or something that helps you to feel a bit happier

[Lost9]

Hi @Dimity, So sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a loved one. Lost9

[seven1164]

Wow just reading through the responses has made a small difference (made me stop cying).I feel not so alone in here and i'm grateful for the feedback.Just reading and rereading what people have said helps me a lot

[Dimity]

Thanks @Lost9 , yes it's hard, it's only been a couple of days so I'm still adjusting. The house seems very quiet without my boy but the other is getting more attention. You'd be missing your labs and tabby too but we can appreciate the time we had with them. 

[Dimity]

Aww @seven1164 I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Hope u have a good night and do something nice for yourself tomorrow.  There are a couple of threads on here with ideas for self care and nurturing ourselves... anything from warm baths and aromatherapy to our favourite music.