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05-05-2021 11:17 AM
05-05-2021 11:17 AM
how things are going today
Hi Everyone my Anxiety is a bit up at the momment due to money worries mainly today waiting to find out how much the car repairs will cost today when it isnt pay week so anxcously waiting for the phone call from mechanic besides that I have to worry about buying a budget amount of food after I find out whats going on with the car,also some strange things are happening with online dating after Ive talked to my former first date guy whom I didnt meet anyway he seems to be my Ali in terms of what happend with the ghosting guy the ordeal that happend their and yes I for some reason told the first former date guy all about what happend so now hes kind of my Ali and shown the most care about this,I do feel hes the only one whos shown care about the situation and yes I do regret never meeting him in person but I keep telling myself no no no Im not gonna end up back with him strangely enough hes started likeing my facebook posts this morning but no Im not gonna entertain the idea that he likes me hes just being an Ali to me at least Ive finally figured out how he fits in my life from a distance cause for quite sometime I wasnt sure how to define him was he a friend? former love? no he is ment to be an Ali I understand now,I understand hopefully more than I used to about certain things,for now Ive got a date tomorow night with someone but not sure about that person and how things will go with them theres definete worries there although Im gonna be meeting them in a public place first so I will choose to leave if need be ,I also might rewatch some self defence moves on youtube just in case things go sour,other than that well just a few mucked up online short term flings for the meantime nothing really definete in terms of dates or guys,and at times I feel over it as if hey maybe I should just stay single/why bother,but still I keep trying theres been lots of confusin,hurt and worries ,lessons but I just gotta keep trying,but that also goes for the everyday aswell I just have to toughen up at times and keep trying,yesterday I finally manged to do a full afternoon of housework,even though I keep not wanting to get out of bed in the morning thanks to depression Ive wanted to just sleep alot lately but then call myself lazy for not seeming to things done but Im still trying,trying to toughen up emotionally to things,to situations and yes people,cause learning takes endurance
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05-05-2021 11:22 AM
05-05-2021 11:22 AM
Re: how things are going today
P.s I need to book a councilling session again cause I missed my phone counselling session but that has to wait till I can pay for the last few sessions although I do need counselling as Id rather talk to my counciller than family,Im keeping my issues isolated from family
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05-05-2021 12:10 PM
05-05-2021 12:10 PM
Re: how things are going today
I really like self defence. The self-defence is good, but even more so, the feeling of taking control of your own body is just .... I don't even have the words. Lots of different philosphies though. Some are a lot more "art" and some are a lot more "martial". The spectrum is like Miyagi Do and Cobra Kai but goes deeper in both directions. They're all worthy, but I'd say picking the right philosphy (or philosphies) is as important as picking the right techniques.
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05-05-2021 01:08 PM
05-05-2021 01:08 PM
Re: how things are going today
@LostAngel yes these expenses are a worry. My house insurance won't pay out my claim on works to my property. It will sort itself out hopefully
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05-05-2021 01:16 PM
05-05-2021 01:16 PM
Re: how things are going today
Gosh @SmilingGecko your issues seem more worriesome I can imagine your trying to make a lot of phone calls to sort out your home insurance @wellwellwellnez your advice is helpfull and yes agree with you about defence giving a feeling of control ect,I mainly waych Jujitzu self defence,actually theres a nice couple who run Gracie Jujitzu I ve watched a few of their techniques on youtube,but yes it would be very good to know Karate like Cobra Kai that definetly would also come in handy for self defence moves,if needed
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05-05-2021 01:23 PM
05-05-2021 01:23 PM
Re: how things are going today
@LostAngel thanks for your comments. I will get there. Keep your chin up, lovely
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05-05-2021 01:44 PM
05-05-2021 01:44 PM
Re: how things are going today
Hi LostAngel, thanks for sharing.
One thing that has helped with my anxiety/psychotic condition is having a shift of identity
Best to see myself as someone with a lot of money rather than seeing myself as someone who is scraping the bottom of the barrel
Because even if life is as bad as we think it is, we're still the richest people... who have ever lived on planet Earth, by a mile.
Don't know if it helps, but I'd be buying more of the things that will actually help you, rather than super cheap stuff
Anyway I don't know if it helps, but it has worked for me
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05-05-2021 01:53 PM
05-05-2021 01:53 PM
Re: how things are going today
I'm actually expecting a budget retractable tai-chi sword any day now. Gonna work on my "opera combat". Slowly coming round to external styles but still a big fan of "body zero". I once got wrapped up by a pretty effective Brazillian Jujitsu demo. Never felt more like I was trying to fight a giant python (with preditable lack of effect).
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05-05-2021 05:34 PM
05-05-2021 05:34 PM
Re: how things are going today
ok thanks everyone Ive tried keeping chin up but here it goes my intuition was right about the car costs worst nightmare scenario has come true the whole car engine needs to be replaced the mechanic was very kind about it but the cost would be $6000 to replace everything thats part of the engine and for that money I could get another type of car but the thing is the car is very sentimental to me cause it was my late fathers car and its been in the family for 25 years ,first my uncle owned it,then my dad owned it,then after dad passed Ive owned it for the last 5 or 6 years so its yeah a hard decision
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06-05-2021 12:29 AM
06-05-2021 12:29 AM
Re: how things are going today
Hi, it seems like you have a lot on your mind. I think a lot of it has to do with poverty. Do you need a job?