Lived Experience Forum

[Lostandalone]

I am lying here in bed frozen

i can't get out... 

my anxiety is intense 

I went for a job interview yesterday (which was very nerve racking) and they wanted me to come back today just to observe and see if I think I will be able to do it....  but I just don't think I can do it....

its not the work or the workload I am worried about.... it is the person I will be working for...

About 12 or so years ago I worked with this person when he was a trainee... he is a very arrogant man and he often did and said things that were very inappropriate.... many complaints had been put in against him.....

towards the end of his 6 month term he took me aside into a room... locked the door and verbally ripped into me telling me it was my fault he would never get a job at the place that we worked etc etc....  because no one else was around... it was his word against mine..... some people believed me... some didn't 

naturally because his attitude and arrogance a number of the senior staff did not like him...

over the years this man has somehow become quite successful.... he has written a few books about his life... he has won many awards etc but my collegues and I never forgot what he was really like.... a few of us even had a ceremonial burning of his first book .... that's how much we despised him

i really don't know that I can work for this man.... but I need a job... and part of me thinks I would be an idiot to turn it down.... 

I just feel like it is a conflict of interest if I do because of what he did to me... and how my past colleagues and friends (and myself I guess) think of him

agggghhhgg

[MRSG]

You know those ads where they say "this is just your anxiety talking? " IMO. This isn't your anxiety- it's your common sense. 

there's an old expression that goes something like "If someone shows you who they are- believe them". 

This person sounds toxic- you've seen him, and despite him self promoting as a successful person and author, you know who  he is.  Trust your gut, let the job go, something will come along . X

[Appleblossom]

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.  Keep looking for other jobs.

@Lostandalone 

It took a long time  before I was in a postion to be able to turn any job down, but it sounds like you would do your head in, and maybe as he thinks he got away BS with once, he can again.  Dont let him win.

[Shaz51]

@Lostandalone 

I agree with @Appleblossom , @MRSG 

I am self employed and it took me a long time to think that I can say no to a job 

and not to take any job that came along 

[nashy]

Hey there @Lostandalone wondering how you're travelling now since your last post? We are all here to listen 🧡

[Lostandalone]

Hey @nashy 

thanks for checking up on me

i am ok... a few deep breaths ... some self encouragement and off I go