Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Hibiscus1]

Hi

Two of our children have just been diagnosed with BPD. While this comes with relief - a pathway to getting better. The ‘war’ rages ‘at’ us ongoing. We’ve done quite a bit of reading, but we’re still at a loss to managing the roller coaster ride. 
I would love to know your best go to resources.

I’ve applied to do the family connections program - but they are unable to let me know any idea of when this will start. The children are both adults and we’ve received no advice from their treating psychiatrist….sigh. We’re both health professionals and geez the pathways to navigate are complicated 

[Rhye]

Hey there @Hibiscus1 and welcome to the forums 😊

I'm wondering if your post would be suited to the Family, Friends & Carers forum. It's the home for posts relating to those who care for a loved one, like yourself, experiencing a complex mental health issue. If that fits, would you like us to move it over there for you? We have a lot of members who live with BPD in this forum so it's okay if you'd prefer the post to stay here too.

And one tip for reaching out to other members is to use an @ in front of the members name, like this @moderator or @Rhye 

Rhye ☘️

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Hibiscus1 Welcome to the forums. I'm hearing relief but also gearing up for the long journey ahead. I hope it all works out for you and you get some support here. I'm going to tag @BPDSurvivor for you. Also putting this here for you to have a read of incase there is something of use. 

Please take care,

Paperdaisy 

[tyme]

Hi @Hibiscus1 ,

Welcome to the forums!

I can really feel what you mean by “feeling at sea” - absolutely unpredictable! One minute the sea is raging and the next, there’s a calm. 

These frequent ‘episodes’ can really make like feel like a roller coaster!

Good news is, BPD is absolutely treatable. Some say it’s not, but it is. On,y thing is, it takes time - plenty of it!

Feel free to pop over to our BPD community here Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

It might give you some more insight into the condition.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have.

tyme

[Hibiscus1]

Yes please! Novice here!

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Hibiscus1 ,

Great to meet you. Well, maybe I should say I’m an unofficial “expert” of BPD since I’ve had it from my late teens.

It sure has been a roller coaster of a ride.

A while back I started this thread which goes into the do’s and don’t’s for carers of people with BPD. You may want to access it here LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT 

Im a survivor of BPD. It’s been a tough ride for those close to me with my unpredictable ups and downs which rise and fall in a matter of minutes. Don’t think I didn’t feel bad - I felt horrible for hurting those I loved most. It wasn’t out of maliciousness. It was because I was internally overwhelmed with emotional pain that self-harm or raging at someone was my only outlet.

Whatever it is, after targeted MBT therapy, I am now fully functional and successful in society. I love each day and the challenges it brings. I am also learning to reconnect with those I pushed away when I was unwell.

All the best. I admire you for your care and concern in supporting your children. During the toughest times, remember it is the BPD speaking and not your children.

BPDSurvivor

[Hibiscus1]

Thank you for supporting me, and others. 💕 

the link - is that group meeting regularly? Or should I just scroll thru and read the comments. I’m still getting my head around this forum. Thanks 

[tyme]

Hi @Hibiscus1 ,

You scroll through and read the posts, then you are welcome to add your own experiences/questions to the thread.

Hope that helps!

tyme

[tyme]

Hi @Hibiscus1 ,

How are you going this weekend? How have your children been?

Thinking of you,

tyme

[Hibiscus1]

Hi and thanks again for reaching out. BPD 2 is living with us. Ups and downs - sometimes I’m ok! And other times I’m really shaken. I think 🤔 the anger triggers some past experiences for me. Unfortunately I have some DV in my history, and when my step son - who is a BIG lad gets angry. I get very wobbly on the inside. Being yelled at by a bIg 6ft angry man is hard.  

BPD 2 is on the phone regularly and we think splitting a lot. It worries me that she’s splitting anger to her partner - how’s he going to keep coping! And if he leaves she’s at sea with young children. 

time 

Is it true that DBT isn’t available publicly in Australia? Our kids - we will support to access DBT etc. but how to others access this?