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Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

hello and tender hugs my @Faith-and-Hope HeartHeart

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

@Shaz51 ❤️

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

Repeating this here, because I think it's worth it .....

 

I suspect this "new" relationship is actually longer term, and that the financial information he is continuing to withhold will reveal a whole new cache of lies, which clearly he doesn't want revealed.  I'd say that is one reason why his behaviour has become increasingly vindictive and punitive ..... he is under a squeeze, created for himself by himself, that is not yet obvious to everyone else ..... but it will be, even if that occurs beyond the scope of the legals.  You can't hold lies in place indefinitely, because the truth is a more powerful force, a life force, whereas lies are unstable and transient shape-shifters.

 

And he will repeat the pattern in his new circumstances because he has learned nothing.

 

@Teej @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Determined @outlander @Smc @Former-Member  .... anyone else around ....

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

It must be so hard @Faith-and-Hope, to see this side of him, from someone you once loved so much, and trusted, and gave so much of yourself to. The vindictiveness, the lies really hurt... and such a betrayal. Our family court battle dragged on for 5yrs😞 while trying to raise young Kidz on my own. Horrible. Be prepared for the legal system to be the heartless MACHINE it is. THE LEGAL SYSTEM ONLY WEIGHS IN ON PROVED FSCTS, NOT TRUTH. I hope you can find the proof you need and have a good solicitor to know and work what's required.
Judgment day will reveal all truth. Nobody can escape that.
I Feel for you F&H really do 💙💙💙

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

The "avatar" was real to me at the time @Former-Member, and I am keeping those memories treasured as special, along with the amazing family life we experienced with that "avatar".  Nobody can take that away from me, or our children, unless we allow it ...... but it has to occur with the full recognition that he was playing a role that suited him at the time, and now he is playing another one that he thinks suits him better.

 

There would be no need for all the lies, deceit, stalling, emotionally abysive communicatiobs, etc if he wasn't feeling threatened by our separation processes, which he wasn't until I took action ..... but without that action he wouldn't have let me go anyway ...... he would have kept me like a "pet" to the side of his new life and thrown me an occasional bone.

 

If he wasn't feeling insecure he would just cough up, and then ignore me the way he has cut off all the other relationships in his life that belonged with "our" life, which no longer work with his current "avatar".

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

I just wanted to add that this is a very different condition from the different changing of hats that we all do for the differing roles we naturally play in life (mother hat, teacher hat, wife hat, daughter hat, etc) and I believe in sub-personalities (IFS - Internal Family Systems), but NPD is something entirely different again.  It's not so much diagnosed, but recognised by an unmistakable trail of destructive, manipulative, controlling and deceitful behaviour, issued in equally recognisable, marked cycles, once you know what it is you're seeing / experiencing.  As with addictions, it sort of diagnoses itself by the effects on the key persons life and what they do to their relationships.

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

Continuing to remember you in thoughts and prayers @Faith-and-Hope 

images - 2020-09-12T122821.948.jpeg

 

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

Thank you so much @outlander @Former-Member 💕💕

Re: Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

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