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27-09-2020 05:00 PM
27-09-2020 05:00 PM
DID?
It seems I have alters, or split personality, I don't know. While in psychotherapy a few years ago, I discovered different "parts" of me. I didn't name them because I still can't believe I might have the disorder... Am I in denial? I don't know.
Who lives inside me? Traumatized 3-year-old and 10-year-old, they both are emotionally needy due to their traumas. And also there is a 16-year-old, which is very sensual, hypersexual, or, I should say, having lots and lots of libidinal energy. Sshe has strong longings for someone she doesn't even know whom... It's almost euphoric to be her. I mean, when she takes control of me, it's fantastic, but then I "wake up" and regret some of those impulsive decisions.
And, there is the Protector. He is around 40, always frowning, very mature and powerful. He swears and smokes, that's how I imagine him, though I've never smoked. I normally do not swear. He protects all the children and especially the 16-year-old because she tends to put us all to trouble...
And there's me, the host. The funny thing is, I don't know how to describe myself. I mean, my true self. And that upsets me the most
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06-10-2020 09:52 PM
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06-10-2020 09:57 PM - edited 06-10-2020 09:58 PM
06-10-2020 09:57 PM - edited 06-10-2020 09:58 PM
Re: DID?
Hi @outlander ,
It's okay if there is no reply because I created the post when my medication was settling in still ... So, my past psychotherapy experience seemed like something very unusual. It seems now I had delusions at the time, so it's okay. Thank you for your reply. 🙂
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06-10-2020 09:59 PM
06-10-2020 09:59 PM
Re: DID?
how are you going more recently?
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06-10-2020 10:06 PM
06-10-2020 10:06 PM
Re: DID?
Getting better, slower than I'd prefer, but still getting there! Thanks for asking @outlander . 🙂
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06-10-2020 10:08 PM
06-10-2020 10:08 PM
Re: DID?
im usually around if you need anyone to talk to and your welcome to tag me
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09-10-2020 03:42 PM
09-10-2020 03:42 PM
DID?
Thanks for bravely speaking about this and introducing those inside . It's really an honour to meet You all.
I do have DID and have questioned for a long time if this is true since it was diagnosed.lve lived years trying to be just One person however it does work better acknowledging everyone and developing better relationships with them all.
At times when it's quiet l like to think it's not real however this just alienates people inside. I didn't realise how hurtful it was until they began telling me they feel invisible. This upset me even more. The truth is when it's quiet no one is being triggered and my body is in a calmer state.
It's easy to feel lost and unknown too amongst all the others. Remember they are all part of You and moments when You weren't there they were.
There are many therapeutic modalities that work with 'parts' however my sense is DID is different. I never had to name the parts as they told me their names and my whole presentation would change when one of them was in charge of the body and l'd lose time. Sometimes l'd have no idea they were doing things in the world until l'd see photos or a friend would tell me about the night our or l'd see my bank statement.
It's not a black n white thing either and varies how it shows up in different people.
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13-10-2020 05:57 PM - edited 13-10-2020 06:05 PM
13-10-2020 05:57 PM - edited 13-10-2020 06:05 PM
Re: DID?
"There are many therapeutic modalities that work with 'parts' however my sense is DID is different."
Thank you so much for your reply, @BraveOne . Yes, you are right, my former therapist and I worked with so called Inner Child, and other parts that might be called Anima, Animus etc. That's Jung stuff, adopted by many integrative therapists. 🙂
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24-10-2023 09:11 AM
24-10-2023 09:11 AM