Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Melll]

Hi all- sure this all sounds familiar but my husband has had his 4th relapse in 6 years.dx 6 years ago.  Been OK for almost 2 years but takes himself off his meds! He believes I make up his psychosis in order to "lock him up". I have two main issues. First is how do I support him when I'm soo hurt? I try to understand it's the mental health and not him, but his delusions related to him believeing I am In love-sleeping around with others and constantly being told this aggressively. I have no interest in that and my 15year old son feels he needs to defends me galore. Hubby has just moved out (again- as he walks out and moves to a second residence when things get too much)  which I try not to see as a cop out! and my second issue is-even though I am able to support him physically most of the time, he has been the one going food shopping etc as I have leukaemia and am immune compromised and currently in vic and need to stay isolated as much as possible and am feeling very overwhelmed as I haven't been in public at my usual capability due to COVID for 6 months. I had a major meltdown this morning over the smallest thing. Woolworths opened at 7am and at 6:40 I was in the car park not realising it wasn't 6am opening. I just bawled my eyes out over a shop opening time!!! Ahhhh!!!  (this was probably my disappointment that I couldn't even know what time a shop opened and I've been the family shopper pre-COVID for over 30years!! 
I care for my 15 and 20 year olds with autism so can't rely on them and have no support as over time I have become isolated from my family and friends due to husbands behaviour. 
and even my dogs are siting at the gate whinging first time. I wish I could wave that magic wand and fix everything. Ir that he would atleast get back to the meds-not that they fixed things but made his symptoms less at the least! 
i guess I just feel very lost, isolated, disappointed in myself and not sure how much energy I have currently to deal with hubby's behaviour-abuse-aggression-allegations...even though I know I must snap out of it!    I wish I didn't care sometimes...

[greenpea]

@Melll  Hey Melll you are not alone many of us are in similar positions. You will find us to be a friendly family of people with mental illness and carers who help each other to come through the darkest of times. Have a look around the forum and when you are ready you might like to post on an existing thread or continue making your own the choice is yours. Again welcome and I hope to see you around.  Take good care of yourself. greenpeax

[SJT63]

@Melll welcome to my life... kinda sort. I am not sick but I am also trying to hold down a full time job and care for his two teenage sons 50% of the time. All three on the spetrum but my partner also has bipolar and PTSD. Also, I'm in Qld so restrictions not so bad. He is taking meds but they are not working any more.

You are not alone. Many of us cry at the drop of of hat. My bloke's highs are irritable and his lows are agressive and he has been abusing me verbally, day and night,  since June. 

I believe the last thing you should be telling yourself is to "snap out of it" because we all know mental illness doesn't work like that. We carers are very susceptible to depression and anxiety. I am looking for professional help now so that I don't fall into the abyss and I implore you to do the same.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Love, S

[nashy]

@SJT63 such brilliant words, thank you for sharing these solid strategies. I am sorry to hear of what you're up against currently but am so glad to hear you're connecting with a professional support. That's a game changer in so many ways.

[HoneyOne]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

My partner of 2 years was diagnosed with Bipolar II in February 2020 so it's we're pretty new to understanding this illness.

A lot of what you describe resonates with me, particularly the hurt and isolation.

Honestly, I don't know if it's in my best interest to stick around.

Please be kind to yourself. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job with all you have going on!

I wish you all the best!

xx