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Gameaddict
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Addicted to gaming and computers,procrastination, social isolation

Hi,
 
I am a parent of a son who lost his dad when he was nearly 2 years of age and have done my best to give him everything that he would need to prosper and be happy. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder after always being in trouble in child care and at school. He was very bright but became bored with the system and learnt not to apply effort. He has always been addicted to something throughout his life: mazes when he was very young, then tamagotchi, then gameboy , then a DS and then his computer. He was a minecraft follower for 7 years and it impacted on his school work.
 
He is now 20 and now appears to have become a no starter- I used to believe that he was a slow starter.  He spends his days attached to his computer screen- playing computer games. This has been an ongoing issue but is becoming worse as time passes by. I am concerned for his physical and mental health. 
 
He is enrolled in a university degree but has failed 1 subject, failed to enrol in courses on time and as a result has missed 3 semesters in total over the past 3 years. He doesn't have a car license but does get around via public transport. He doesn't have the get up and go to make change, to do what needs to be done or to set goals, make plans and follow through. He procrastinates on mostly everything but he has been able to get himself to and from his woolworths night time job from 7-11am 4-5 times per week. He has done this for 6 months after he secured the job after I spoke with a contact I knew who dealt with recruitment in the section of woolworths where he now works as a casual. 
 
He doesn't pay attention to self care , neglecting to brush his teeth, wear deodorant, wash his clothes after being worn and they smell, lives in a very dirty and messy room, binges on sugary drinks and food. Purchases unhealthy food often not eating what I have cooked.
 
He said to me that he doesn't like to socialise because he doesn't know what to say or how to keep the conversation going. As a young boy he was very talkative to the point he had to abide by 5 minutes of silence quite often in class, at home and while out and about. He was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and I think how I handled his incessant talking and noise making may have caused his social awkwardness and taken away his self confidence. 
 
2 years ago we went to his GP to try to make a start on dealing with his escalating issue. The GP merely asked him a few question sto determine whether or not he was depressed and then told him to study and to get a job. This of course has not addressed his gaming addiction. Which it appears to me will lead him down the path of further procrastination, shut down from the world and depression. 
 
I have added all the detail above in the hope that someone has any suggestion as to where he and I can access some help. He is happy to speak with someone and was happy for me to source where. I am not sure whether a psychologist or a life coach is what he needs or where to start. 
2 REPLIES 2

Re: Addicted to gaming and computers,procrastination, social isolation

@Gameaddict  Hey Gameaddict I have three children all of whom play incessently and one in particular is a game addict. I would say address the other issues in his life as the gaming is a symptom of other problems. A good psychiatrist and medication plus peer support has really helped my daughter  slowly move away from being an 24/7 gamer. greenpeax

Re: Addicted to gaming and computers,procrastination, social isolation

I have sensory processing disorder.  I don't like loud noise, I find it painful.  This may be the fuel to the fire so to speak with the gaming.  It is controlled noise which can be adjusted.  Having lots of noise is a real problem for me so I have withdrawn from social events and places where lots of noise is a problem for me. 

 

When I realised I had S.P.D. I looked to see what support services, or especially treatments were around as an adult and there is none.  Sad situation to be honest if you are looking for real treatment.  There is treatment through Occupational Therapy for children, that's it.  Nothing else.

 

Your son may be doing the best he can.  He has a job which is great.  The hygiene etc. is not good.  Try to assist him in a non judgemental or nagging way.  Perhaps buying him nice aftershave etc. may help.  I would just buy it and put it somewhere where he wouldn't feel confronted or judged.  Try to be pleased your son has a job.  Many people have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.  You obviously love your son very much to post on this forum.

 

Re. doctor, he hasn't a clue.  The words he said about studying that's great if you don't have any problems and real drive to do something.  Sometimes problems are another hurdle to try and get over every day and then to add something else to that by someone telling you this kind of advice is not really helpful, it shows to me that the doctor is not aware of how to treat your son's condition.  Quite frankly he may have done more harm than good.  Doctors honestly come in different levels of competency.

 

I have a great GP now so perhaps shopping around for a better GP may assist your son.  However I wouldn't tell him what to do or nag him.  This will make him retreat further or isolate himself if he feels no-one understands him.  As I said the medical fraternity are lightyears away in understanding this condition and don't recognize it as a real medical condition.  It is a real condition and it is difficult for others to understand, let alone help you with.

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