Community

[jadeq]

I haven't shared on a platform like this in a really long time, but it worked for me then and I'm hoping it might now too.

What I know is a tiny and absurd issue is taking over my head and making me incredibly anxious and I find it affecting my relationships in negative ways. 

Essentially my partner of almost 3 years is heading off on a boys trip to the city for two nights for a friends bucks party.

We have lived together for almost 2 years and he has never given me a reason not to trust him and has helped me heal many of my past relationship trauma.

However, we haven't been apart this far or for this long since moving in together.

I am a very independent person and can thrive (and need) my own space.

My past relationship experience has taught me that I shouldn't trust others and that others shouldn't trust me. 

Basically, I'm not asking for anyone to ease my anxiety, just maybe let me know if you have ever had these anxiety feelings where you know you really don't need to.

Writing it all down and knowing others have felt the same is the biggest help at the moment.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @jadeq and welcome to the forums.

Thanks for sharing a bit of what you're going through, it sounds like this relationship has done a lot to help you heal and rebuild trust. Having said that it's understandable that given your past history an event like this might stir up this anxiety in you.

I have struggled with similar thoughts, even when my partner had given me no reason to distrust them. I found that a lot of self-talk and challenging these thoughts helped me, but they didn't make the anxiety go away completely. 

Do you think this might be something that you could speak to your partner about, particularly if it's affecting your relationship? 

[jadeq]

Thank you so much for your reply!
I really appreciate the support

[MJG017]

Hi @jadeq.  I've had anxiety issues around other people all my life and I find I always have major doubts even when I know there's no need to.  I think it's just an innate lack of trust of people, like its only a matter of time before they reject me.  I was like this even as a little kid and it's never gone away.

I've started asking around about these issues recently as I really want to find out why as it seems so mystifying to me but at the same time impossible to stop.  It's like my mind is just always on guard, wanting to protect me just in case the worse happens.  To be fair, it's more like assuming the worst will happen.

I have been told recently I have attachment issues so I'm looking to get help with that, and from what i've read it explains my subconscious thinking patterns perfectly.  Its still new to me so it may all be hogwash, but it does seem to explain soooo much so it's hard to ignore.  So maybe it's a similar thing for you, possibly you just trying to protect yourself from the trauma of the past relationships.  Just my 2c worth.  I hope it helps a little.

[Asgard]

Hi @jadeq 

I think you answered your own question "he has never given me a reason not to trust him and has helped me heal many of my past relationship trauma".  Trust the guy, it will be a weekend of a lot of beers, kebabs and a footie game or two.......Asgard