Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

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@BlueBay wrote:

Hi @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Lauz @Razzle @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Zoe7 

abd others 

I don’t know what I want anymore 😢

I’m confused 

I’m anxious emotional and very stressed 

I just don’t know anymore 

who am I anyway? 

Whst do I want? I have no idea 

I just don’t know 😢

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Hi @BlueBay 

I am taking a walk again this morning and while I am out I am going to think about this post - I actually do this a lot 

So you don't know what you want anymore - have you thought about what you don't want? That might be easier to answer

And you are not doing everything wrong - that actually would be harder than doing everything right - impossible actually

And you do a lot of right things

I rolled on my new glasses in bed last night and need to take them to the optometrist here and have the frames straightened - I am not beating myself up about it - I often go to sleep reading and so what's new? I am just glad I thought to put a spare pair in my luggage

Hold tight - back later - thinking of you

Dec

[BlueBay]

I’m not feeling good today. My blood pressure was very high this morning 170/100. I rang my gp snd he saw me this afternoon. It was still high but not as high. 

He told me to rest up on weekend. I told him I’m very tired. He said will wait fir a month then do a blood test for iron and thyroid. 

I’m feeling very sad today. 

@Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Razzle @Zoe7  @Shaz51 

[CheerBear]

Big hugs for your sads today @BlueBay. Hope you have a chance to rest this weekend ❤

[BlueBay]

Thanks @CheerBear  I’m just not doing well. This mirning almost fainted. 

I just don’t kniw about anything anymore. 

[CheerBear]

That's not good with the fainting @BlueBay 🙁

Maybe your physical health is impacting your mental health at the moment?

[BlueBay]

I can’t tslk 

every time I say something it’s wrong 

may as well say nothing 

I’m hopeless 

angry 

shit day already 

@CheerBear @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Zoe7  @Shaz51 

[Former-Member]

Hi dear @BlueBay 

Sorry to read that you feel you are constantly saying the wrong thing.  I must admit I too feel that way at times.  Usually when I am particularly upset and feeling very vulnerable.  And unfortunately its when we feel that way, that we need support here the most.  So I hope you dont stop posting because you feel that way.  It is important that you continue to reach out and talk about whats upsetting you.  We all need this outlet.

I hear that yesterday was a bad day for you. Sorry I did not respond earlier, but I was not getting any notifications and was oblivious to what was going on all around the forums yesterday.  Only now starting to catch up as time lag catches up with long lost notifications slowly coming in.

I'm glad to see that you got to see your GP re your blood pressure, and also that he has organised for you to have some blood tests to check a few issues, in a months time.  I too feel particularly sad these past couple of weeks.  I can sit with you and we can be sad together, keep each other company.  Or ... we could both get out there and do something which may help us feel a little better.  Its a warm day here today, I thought I might get outside soon and do a bit of gardening. Before it gets too hot.  My dog Holly will enjoy that too I expect. But before that I am about to make a pot of hot tea and sit out on the deck overlooking my fish pond.  I will throw some fish pellets in to my 3 fish and watch them feed ravenously.  They are quite beautiful actuall, a red one, a gold one and a red/white one.  All doing really well since I cleaned out their garden pond and bought 2 new ones to keep our other one company.  I also made a fruit and nut loaf yesterday so will cut a slice of that to have with my cuppa.

I hope today is a better day for you.  I know you are feeling tired, and your GP suggested you take it easy for the weekend, are you able to find the time to read a good book perhaps?  I recall you were reading while in hospital recently.

Sherry 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

I'm thinking of you - I hear you are having a shit day - it's horrible feeling that way

I guess you and Huffnpuff are at odds - I think it's time to go and take a long walk without telling him - 

You haven't said anything wrong here - this is where it's okay to share your thoughts - we understand

Anyway - regardless - do the best you can with the day - 

Dec

[BlueBay]

Hi @Owlunar @Former-Member 

I’m keeping my mouth shut. So many times tiday I’ve wanted to tell him to shut up. But I’m biting my lips. And telling myself to take a deep breath 

went to Bunnings and bought some plants for our front garden. Trying to make it look nice before we decide to sell which will most likely be spring. 

Trying to stay quiet but I have so much anger and I kniw it’s ciming across towards hubby. 

Sorry @Former-Member  you’re having a similar day. I hope the day improves for you. 

@Owlunar  How’s your time away? 

Thinking if you both. 

❤️❤️

[saturnzoon]

I understand  how you feel @BlueBay and its so hard, it eats us up so much not being able to say how we feel.

I just stay quiet all the time with my kids and can't defend myself as when i have tried to say things it always comes out wrong or they take it the wrong way.

At least on hear we can say how we feel about what's going on in our lives knowing that we don't get judged and most of us have been there or going through tge same thing.

Glad your planting some flowers, they say gardening can help sooth our souls. Stay strong and know we are all thinking of you.