Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

@BryanaCamp  💜💜💜

[outlander]

I drove around for more then an hour trying to work out why im still here and I struggled to even think of one. it might be nice to be something more then something to use for once. cant seem to do many things right and more often then not someone is angry at me. Just a stupid pawn to be played in a never ending game it seems.

[Teej]

Ditto @Snowie . I could pay my debts and go knowing my kids are all adults and have good futures. They won't need me but the thought of staying just so I don't hurt them is infair and cruel at times. 

[outlander]

I don't want to do anything but theres no one else and no other options so it seems. it also worries me that without the life i have currently there doesn't seem to be anything else left for me.
it feels like a sad reality.

[Jynx]

Hey @outlander, 

Just checking in with you out of concern for your wellbeing, as it sounds like you might be really struggling at the moment. Feel free to reach out to the Help Centre if you need a little extra support, you can chat with us online here or give us a call on 1800 187 263. 

[Molliex]

I haven't done my psychologist "home work" to help with my anxiey & depression, and thinking about it is making me more anxious. Why don't I just do it? I am so tired, it just seems like one thing too many to add onto my pile. I know it's important and helpful to do it. Argh frustrated with myself.

[Adge]

I’ve been feeling sick all weekend, yuk, maybe virus or something.

My Thursday Yoga teacher said that I am courageous – to have come to WA on my own (25 years ago), trying to settle down & establish myself on my own.

It was courageous, scary as h....ll, & it almost did not work for me...

Yet people evaluate it with negative feedback & judgement –

eg “why don’t you have family & social support” (in WA)?

“Why haven’t you moved back to NSW”? my relatives always say (again & again).

Really they could be asking “How on earth did you ever manage on your own, for most of 25 years”?

Adge

[Adge]

I’ve been feeling sick all weekend, yuk, maybe virus or something.

My Thursday Yoga teacher said that I am courageous – to have come to WA on my own (25 years ago), trying to settle down & establish myself on my own.

It was courageous, scary as h....ll, & it almost did not work for me...

Yet people evaluate it with negative feedback & judgement –

eg “why don’t you have family & social support” (in WA)?

“Why haven’t you moved back to NSW”? my relatives always say (again & again).

Really they could be asking “How on earth did you ever manage on your own, for most of 25 years”?

Adge

[Adge]

I spent almost 1 hour fighting with dissociation (mind blanking) attempting to make myself do an appointment booking.

In the meantime, the only available appointment was taken (disappeared) - someone else booked it.

I have no idea why this is so triggering - it appears to be almost insurmountable.

I feel defeated, which just makes the dissociation & despair worse.

Putting pressure on myself - to try to force myself to book the Dr's appointment did not work. The more pressure, the more resistance (greater obstacle).

End result - dissilusioned, emotionally exhausted & extremely frustrated.

[rye]

Feeling incredibly frustrated and angry at myself tonight.
I hate that I had to punish myself for disobeying my eating rules, and now I feel horrible and ridiculous, and I want to turn back time and start all over again.
I wish I could be a normal human, and feel okay with myself.
There is not even anything wrong with me, and yet I feel so annoyed and broken and horrible and full of hatred.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a fresh start and I can move towards acceptance and kindness for myself.

[Snowie]

scared

alone

stupid

sh

why do i do this to myself