Lived Experience Forum

[meowsibob]

Hello, I'll do a small introduction first...

It's coming up three years since my schizophrenia diagnosis, and things are going ok. I'm on stable medication, feeling good, but seem to be stuck in a little trap. I do well for a few days, and then spontaneously drink a bit and waste money, and it's due to boredom and restlessness on my behalf. Since being medicated and post psychosis, I have lost my creative outlets, I'm worried about meditating and stuff like that becasue of my delusions. I barely have friends I can hang out with, I'm always just spending my days listening to music, drinking too much coffee and waiting for my partner to get home. I seem to be a little scared of going for walks or bike rides too far from home and by myself too. My other main problem right now (since my psychosis) is that I overshare and over explain myself on social media... I'm fine and confident when I make the posts but after a short while I regret it, take it down, and get embarrassed by what I've shared and worry about who saw it. 

My aim here was to ask what kind of self guided therapies or mindfullness exercises I could do to try and help my focus and influence me to a) stop giving into boredom with alcohol and coffee, and b)stop oversharing on social media...

 Thankyou if you took the time to read this. 

[wellwellwellnez]

That is really interesting. Particularly oversharing as a side-effect. I feel that over-sharing is better than under-sharing, especially when you're going through a transition. Boredom can be an asset in a lot of ways as well. It seems, at least to an extent that the medication is doing what its doing while still enabling you to grow.

I would say an interesting project, that takes advantage of the will to share, would be optimal. Boredom is in a way patience looking for purpose. "Over"-sharing, at the same time, is a bit like purpose looking for patience. Maybe the key is some sort of art of refined expression. Could be a two-bird stone.

[meowsibob]

Thankyou for your response. 

I feel you are right, there seems to be something in me growing, and I am thinking of using it with some kind of art expression, I think I'm just trying to be patient until I figure out what that will be.

[Gwynn]

I'm glad you're mostly doing ok, though I am a bit concerned that you've lost all creative outlets - I'm glad you're trying to find one for you. For me, volunteering is a creative outlet as well as knitting and it's really helpful.

I've never heard anything bad about short bursts of guided meditation for psychosis - it seems to cause problems when it's like a meditation retreat or something. I sometimes meditate (although lately I knit instead) and it seems to be helpful - I do lovingkindness meditations and the occasional body scan.

I used to overshare, but now I think I just share - not too much, if that makes sense. It takes time, and thinking about purposeful sharing before you hit post. Have you considered journalling?

[rivergal]

Hello @meowsibob 

Thanks for your post.

My first thoughts on reading your post was to think what helped me post pyschosis.

2 and 1/2 years since my last psychosis. 

maybe gentle exercise , a planned walk with your partner a couple of times a week to help you feel more confident to go on your own eventually.

maybe yoga by zoom at home so you don't have to attend the class, conversation is usually minimal and only smiling faces on entry and exit. 

Mindfulness activity - I also enjoy knitting holey scarves. I always find it therapeutic. (I make heaps of mistakes and use basic stitches).

Mindfulness colouring books using many pencil colours set so to not get bored, there are usually books with all sorts of graphic designs.

Journalling for short timed periods. 

In regards to meditation I find body scan /muscle relaxation helpful, because i am concentrating on body sensations rather than thoughts. A short 10 min duration and sometimes a bonus of having a midday recharge and nap. 

maybe developing a herbal tea habit, lots of flavours to discover and savour. 

[soppykat]

Hi @meowsibob - i admit that i look at social media a lot these days - i dont think there is anything wrong with what you do during the day. I have been diagnosed and medicated for about half of my life now. Also, I talk to a lot of people about my condition, and if they don't appreciate it, they are not my friends. If I am bored I watch tv, or write music, or study old uni topics that I didn't quite reach. Anyways good luck 🙂

[prov3v5and6]

Regarding your posts: Don't delete it, it might help even one other person. People are not forced to read what you type, but someone out there may read what you type and benefit. Tt's better to not regret it and not delete it.

Regarding your unhappiness feelings: One thing you can try is to think about what you have, not what you lack. You are blessed, all good things come from God. Even if its just tea and cookies, or a house, or a hug. I hope that helps you, to focus on something positive.

The best thing you can do is try out what God says to do, even when it seems like it doesn't fit, it does.

[meowsibob]

Thank you for your ideas. I have just started journalling, and trying to do that instead of putting all my writing online. I just started an anonymous instagram page to share my nature photography along with my creative writing, so far I'm finding it to be healing and I'm not getting embarrassed becasue it is anonymous. 

I think I will try to find a guided meditation rather than doing it in silence too. And thankyou for reminding me about body scans, I used to do that and found it to be very helpful for me, especially to go to sleep at night. 

[meowsibob]

Thankyou @soppykat , you are so right, if my "friends" don't appreciate what I have to say then they are not my friends. Last night I actually had to block a couple of people because they were having a negative impact on me, and was what was causing alof of my self doubt.

Also, that is a good idea about the old uni notes, I have a few textbooks and alot of lectures and notes saved and hidden away, I could defninitely give it a try to go through some of it. Thank you 🙂

[meowsibob]

@rivergal They are all very good ideas, thankyou. 

I did recently buy a colouring book and have done small amounts of that during the day. I have also been trying to get into drinking tea instead of alcohol. I would like to drink tea every afternoon instead of coffee, so I might start that today when I start to get bored waiting for my partner to get home.

Me and my partner were going out for walks every week, so I might have to ask him to start doing that again. Thanks for your response and suggestions 🙂