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Looking after ourselves

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

Just got home. I’m kind of waiting on a response before I write much more @CheerBear . Just had a nice time out with a friend which helped get me out of my funk heaps whilst we were out. Now I’m home it’s all started again with unexpected calls creating emotions I’m not that fond of right now. 

 

My brain is exploding trying to coordinate too much stuff at once. I wish I had @Faith-and-Hope juggling skills and cool head.

 

am ok ..... and thankful to @Shaz51 , @Sans911 , @Maggie , @Snowie 

@Faith-and-Hope,  @outlander   for the support 💜🤗

 

 

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

Oops and to @Gazza75 under the support button I just saw. 💜🤗

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

ohhhhtender hugs my @Teej HeartHeart

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

🙁 it's super annoying when emotions you're not fond of hit @Teej. I find it can be even more annoying when they follow a good time. It's like a big crash then. Yep, wish I had calm head juggling skills also 😏

Hugs for you. Listening if/when you do write more.

(And thankful to many too)

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

Didn’t have such a calm head and juggling skills last Saturday @Teej ..... had a few choice things to say to my mr. in the moment, but I also had baby dragons present who stood sentry with me and helped me do the emotional mop-up afterwards, while appearing to not take sides ..... because they know what nobody can actually say ..... that it was a nuts situation.

 

But we survive these things, and whether there is convo about it or not, we feel each other’s support from here ..... from the forums ..... and I hope you feel us around you too in solidarity Hon ..... ❣️

 

💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷💜🌷💜

 

Tricky heads and hearts are all part of the mix, and it’s so good to see you, no matter how scrambled it feels.

 

Agree with @CheerBear  .... the rollercoaster is steeper when there are good times on it too ...... just keep taking care of you.  Is there a self-care activity you can wrap around yourself tonight ?

 

Hi to everybody else around 👋

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

@Teejthinking of you Heart

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

💜💐 @Teej .....

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

thUQBI9CS5.jpg9.jpg@Teej  just wanted to leave these here for you Heart

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

@Teej @CheerBear 

Thinking of you both Heart

Re: Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔 Learning to accept my past

I’m going to start journaling here a bit. I’ve agonised over this for a very long time.

 

The story of me on the forum.....changing and grieving.

when I first started on the forum I was elated to connect and communicate with others that had an understanding of what I was experiencing. I wanted to connect to everyone and help everyone connect to each other. There was a sense of tribe and I felt part of it in a guenuine way for the first time. I read every post every day.

I was possibly obsessed being here and spent many days (like 10 hours or more) on the forum, sometimes doing a 24 hour shift. It was the only place I felt ok about myself and my world was opened up to creating many new friends. I was mostly confident when I wrote and wrote from my heart. Posts just flowed. It was a huge part of me having a purpose on the good days. On the bad days I was out of control and needing intervention to be safe. I was swinging hugely from one to the other many times a week. 

Then I fell into an exclusive phase. The forum was still my life but I stopped responding to others. Therapy had fallen in a black hole and it was a really tricky stage being in public mental health. Most of my time in the forum was around being in crisis mode. 

At the beginning of this year I had started to find my feet again with my mental health. I had a good mh team that was making a difference. I was beginning to emerge as more stable but terribly confused and conflicted about identity. That has played out in the forum in many ways. I felt like I had abandoned many 'friend' members. I overthought my posts and have struggled to get the flow like I once did without stressing about it.  I developed huge guilt that I wasn’t responding to everyone but was struggling to do so too. I missed the me that started on the forum. I felt like an imposter. 

When the CG roles came up I thought that maybe that would be a good way to find my feet on the forum and give back. I had been so grateful for the forum and believe in and value the connections and support. I had come to a point with my mental health that I needed positivity. I wanted to bring some more positivity back to the forum.

Life has got in the way and my mental health has been erratic again. These days I spend more time offline trying to deal with my mental health. That change has come at the expense of forum time and has pulled at my heartstrings greatly. I think I’ve been grieving the loss of those close connections whilst understanding that I have to participate in the offline world to move forward. 

So from here I want to work harder on fulfilling the goals I have as a CG whilst supporting others when I can. I know this will be erratic. 💜🤗

 

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