Lived Experience Forum

[Razzle]

@BlueBay  Fantastic to see you have contact with this service, what a shame it has taken so long for anyone to put you in contact with it.

When I first spoke to my councillor about getting councilling on my own for CSA (he was my marriage councillor at the time) he suggested CASA instead of himself, only because CASA was a free service.  I went with him in the end because he already new part of my story and I didn’t want to start again with someone new.

I hope you find the experience with CASA rewarding, I have done a little research about them and they seem to be a brilliant organisation.  

This feels like a huge step forward for you, what a pain you have to wait until Jan for an appointment, but I guess at this time of year it will come round quick enough.

Good luck with it all, I hope it goes really well for you ❤️❤️

[Razzle]

@Former-Member  I’m pretty sure Bravehearts is the QLD equivalent to CASA.  I kind of found them first while I was researching but realised they were not VIC.  They are worth a shot at contacting if you feel you need the support ❤️❤️

[BlueBay]

Thanks @Razzle@Maggie@utopia@Former-Member@Wanderer for your support. I’ll let you know how I go. 

I do worry thst I have to repeat my story.  

Its so draining. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay

As promised I am adding my story about seeing CASA many years ago when I learned that rape inside marriage is a crime and I hadn't known that

Years before that when my children were very young I had a history of miscarriage and also failure to conceive so I wasn't using birth control - only I knew when I was fertile and would say "No" to my husband and we had talked about this and he had respected me until the night he didn't and forc ed me. I became pregnant again and I was really angry - I didn't want to go through another miscarriage or a difficult pregnancy

I felt betrayed by him - and really took it out on him - and later he had no memory of it - and I didn't know it was a crime so I kept it to myself but miscarried again - and things were never the same between my husband and me - it made the unhappy situation worse.

I heard about all of this being a crime when I saw something on TV and I rang the phone number they gave me and got an immediate appointment and saw them a few times - I didn't need many - but I had never mentioned this event before and rarely have since - 

The good news is that they are so well-trained there I was able to get passed the betrayal and other emotions quickly - and I am so glad for that - my marriage had ended before I saw that programme but to this day I feel anger about it.

Anger that I was ignored - anger that I became pregnant- anger that I miscarried again and I was confused because it would have been great to have another child but my only successful pregnancy had been so difficult and the baby born so early had been really hard and I didn't want to face that again when I had two children already to care for - bed rest would have been out of the question

So - yes - although it doesn't consume me I did hate what happened and I am so glad that a few interviews helped me to put it aside most of the time in the many years since I saw CASA

You are so brave going ahead with all of this therapy - you have made a positive choice about this and continuing

Perhaps my story is about something else than childhood trauma - I had emotional and verbal and physical trauma from my mother - but adding this story will let some women know that rape inside marriage is a crime too

All the best with CASA BlueBay - I think they are really great

Dec

[BlueBay]

Oh my friend @Owlunar thank you so much for sharing your story. I appreciate it so much. 

I now can’t wait to see the counsellor. 

Im sure they will be very helpful. 

I need to try different avenues of therapy. I feel and know thst the childhood abuse has taken its toll on me snd I need to release all this anger and hurt. 

Take care @Owlunar xxxooo

[Owlunar]

Thanks @BlueBay

Yes - I think you need to try different types of therapy - you have a huge story and it is so complex it needs to be taken from different points of view so many different people need to share

It's a pity you haven't heard about this before - I didn't think to mention it because it was not childhood trauma but it still counts as crimes against females simply because we are female - and not on at all - never right - we have the right to be angry about it

And I just hope you can reach a place to let go of that anger - that is the object of all this therapy after all - you can't change your mother - I can't change mine - but we can change things within ourselves

It takes the right therapy and therapist I think - I really hope you get to see them soon and you have someone as good as I had

Dec

[Twerp]

Hi @BlueBay,

i had brief help from CASA decades ago. Mine went badly (I'd been in Larundel for 7 months and the counsellor I spoke to said she wasn't able to see people who were crazy. Yep. I'd been in there with an eating disorder). But from what people I know who've used CASA in more recent times have said, it has been highly beneficial utilising their counselling service. They are extremely well trained at working through sexual abuse issues, in recent times. You'll make faster progress and get more information about how your sexual abuse has affected you and how to manage its ongoing effects, from CASA than anywhere else, from what I've heard. A highly valuable healing option. 

Twerp. 

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @Twer for your reply. Appreciate it😊

hopefully i will see someone soon snd i will tell you sll about it. 

[Twerp]

@BlueBay, I look forward to hearing how it goes for you. Thank you. 

Hoping you'll be okay while you wait. Waiting can be nerve wracking sometimes. 

Thinking of you. 

Twerp. 

[Shaz51]

looking  forward to hearing how it goes for you my sister @BlueBay