Lived Experience Forum

[DID82]

I was scrolling through videos on social media and it was someone going on about how lucky we are and we shouldn’t be anxiety or depression is stopping me from achieving. If we compare ourselves to third world countries we have everything and therefore shouldn’t complain. I’m like you clearly don’t understand how it works because I can have everything I need, more than enough and things appear to be going well but I just can’t seem to be happy, I can’t lift my mood. I’m anxious around people and worried about what they think. I’m grateful for what I have and I try to make choices that are going to lift my mood rather than make it worse when I can. I used to think once I get this, then I’ll feel happy, but it’s not based on stuff or seeming to have everything right. I know I’ve got to live this moment and when I’m having a bad day it’s ok and when I can do those things that are going to help I will. 

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @DID82,

When I was reading your post it reminded me of something I said to a good friend of mine that was going through a really hard time (her husband left her after 30 years of marriage). She said to me something like `I should stop feeling like this, there are so many people worse off in the world". Yes, she may be right but that doesn't diminish what she was going through and  her right to her feelings around what had happened. She was still entitled to feel hurt and angry. I remember saying to her something like "if we all felt like we shouldn't feel bad, anxious, depressed etc because there will always be someone worse off it is almost like saying are feelings will always be never be worthy as there is always someone that can trump your story". 

Your feelings are valid and shouldn't be compared to others and I agree with you when you say "when I’m having a bad day it’s ok and when I can do those things that are going to help I will". Good advice I think 🙂

All the best,

FloatingFeather

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @DID82 ! 

What you said is that pretty much exactly what I heard on the radio yesterday! There was a discussion about trauma and different types of trauma, then someone called in and said: if only people knew what ‘real’ trauma was, they wouldn’t be labelling everything ‘trauma’ like breaking a finger, getting sick with covid, not having your fav food…. ‘Real’ trauma is when your are forced to flee your country because of war, you are in utter starvation etc.

I was thinking…’if only you knew’. 

So @DID82 , I hear you. Your feelings are valid. No one is here to tell you otherwise.

thanks for sharing.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @DID82 , How are you?

[DID82]

@BPDSurvivor 

hi I’m up and down with my mood it’s a bit of a roller coaster at the moment but really pushing through to go to work etc, I would rather just hide in bed non stop but that will make me feel worse. Waiting to feel semi stable again 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @DID82 ,

You are not alone. So many find themselves in a similar place. I know I did - for a long time.

Wade through it. Ride it out. Things will change.

BPDSurvivor